Corsets & Tight-lacing: A Conversation with Arya Blue (Part 2)

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If you waist train, do you think that the corset permanently changes your shape? Like if I started waist training now, do you think I would change the shape I am even after removing the corset? Do you ever wear other support garments, and if you do, how do they compare with corsets?

ABB: Yes. It can absolutely change the shape of a girls body. Several things contribute to this, first and most common is fat displacement. Over time, tightlacing pushes fat deposits to other areas of the body. Most of this fat movement is not permanent and will have to be maintained to keep the inches off. In the beginning, if you’re dedicated, the amount of time wearing a corset will be basically equal to how long the effects lasts. In other words, if you waist train seriously for a year, and stop wearing it, your body will most likely return to it’s original shape gradually over the following year. After years of tight-lacing (continuous or on and off), some of this fat displacement will be permanent. The longer you waist train (years not hours), the longer the inches stay off. Keep in mind it takes at least 6 months before the body will really start to permanently move fat to different fat cells.

Second, is the repositioning of the floating ribs. This is harder to achieve than moving fat but the results are usually permanent. Your lower rib placement makes a huge difference on how well waist training works (especially if you have a small torso). The younger you start, the more permanent the body change. That doesn’t mean it won’t help anyone, of any age, take at least a few inches off their waist.

Best advice I can give on long term or permanent waistline changes –

…how much time (both years and hours) you spend waist training, matters more than how tight it is. Go slow and listen to your body.

I would tell any woman that wants a smaller waist or a flatter stomach to wear some type of waist controller. Anything. If worn tight enough and regularly, it can work to displace a little fat. It also teaches a girl to stand up straight, and suck it in, which along with building abdominal muscles and improving posture, just simply makes her look better. Using store bought, inexpensive waist controllers is the perfect first step to tightlacing. It’s more comfortable, easier to get on and off and starts to prepare your body and mind for the waist training process.

TTC: “Go slow and listen to your body.” Good advice for any sort of change! After getting crushed at Mardi Gras, my abs were sore, hard, and kind of distended for weeks. Using a waist cincher really helped pull them back in and relieve a lot of pressure from movement. They are STILL sore, and I’m hoping that a little bit of waist training (and more squats and kettlebell swings) will put those muscles back to right.

ABB: Exactly! We live in a society of quick conveniences but anyone who has ever produced real change in their life, knows it’s a slow arduous process.

I’ve read a lot of stories about women fighting scoliosis and other back problems with tight-lacing. Waist training/corsetry has always been viewed through a political lens (always). Most information we’ve been fed about tight-lacing from the past is fraudulent feminist propaganda, because of this, and the continued spreading of these myths, it’s almost impossible to know if there are any real health benefits from tight-lacing.

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I’m kind of built like a 2×4: long and slender with no waistline, hips or bust; I always have been built that way, and I’m pretty solid. Do you think that a corset would give me a waistline?

ABB: You are not built like a 2×4. I would give a lot to have your long slender legs.
Short answer, yes, if you’re committed and do it right, it will take inches off your waist.
How many inches is the real question?
Wearing a corset, 8 to 12 hours a day for a year, can take 4 to 6 inches off a normal (not obese or rail thin) woman’s waist. But a lot of things influences how many inches will come off: Body type, hours spent wearing it, the fit, how often, how tight, and unfortunately to some extent, age.
**These are my experiences and observations – waist training is very popular with burlesque dancers**

TTC: LOL, I didn’t mean anything bad by the 2×4 comment, but even when I was super skinny (5’9” and 115lbs) graduating high school, I never had a single curve (I’ll try to find a picture in a bikini) and didn’t even have boobs until I was about 35. I have noticed, since I went Paleo/Primal in 2008, that my body has changed shape on its own without any help from me using waist cinchers. I had funky little skinny-fat fat deposits in weird places; they all went away, and I developed breasts and a tiny amount of hips. I think that I could further benefit from a tiny bit of waist training, but I think that extreme tight-lacing might not be a good idea given my *cough* advanced age :)

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Do you wear corsets under or over your clothes? Do you wear them for decoration, support, or both? How noticeable are corsets when wearing them under clothes for support? Are there different types of fabrics that show them more?

ABB: I’ve worn over, under and only. I like peek-a-boos for under my clothes. These usually have waist cinchers but are structured and embellished at the bust(to peek out). Wearing these, I essentially out myself for wearing a corset and create a sexy “what does she have on under that?” excitement. If burlesque taught me anything, it’s that men like to be visually teased, but leaving some things to the imagination is usually more powerful.

My closet is full of different styles of corsets for different types of occasions. Most of what I own are not true corsets, but the shape is flattering on me. I do have two nice “going out” corsets. These are not appropriate for most events, I only get a chance to wear them a few times a year. My lingerie corsets– I probably have 50 or more of these (lol). I can’t resist buying them. I keep one nice tight lacing corset, just in case. :)

There are specific types of corsets to be worn under your clothes. These are great body shapers, tighter than fashion or outer corsets. I think satin is the most comfortable and the least noticeable. Usually, depending on well it fits, you won’t see it through the clothing. Mostly, a corset gives itself away with extreme body shapes, or fat bulging over or under the corset. I also notice the awkward stiff movements it can cause in a novice wearer, but most probably wouldn’t. They can be really flattering with the right tight waisted dress, or if the girl wearing it has the body for it. Many underclothes corsets have garters, which I personally love, it’s my primary reason for wearing one.

What is your favorite thing about wearing corsets?

ABB: A corset forces me to move more deliberately; adds more sensuality to my movements. Walking, bending, taking a seat, eating, even just standing, are all done with a corset inspired feminine grace. Mostly, the process of putting one on, and just wearing it, is in itself, a boost to my femininity. The absolute best part for me…
I feel and look sexier.

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Is there anything left that we should discuss that I haven’t asked?

ABB: The only things we didn’t discuss(i think), that we should, is breathing and other health concerns.

It can be difficult to breathe from the lower lobe or the diaphragm when laced in a corset. Some women can’t get passed the feeling of not being able to catch their breath. This just takes practice. It can be done. If an opera soprano can learn to sing while tight-laced, surely we can learn to breathe just doing normal daily things.

In order to see any organ movement from tightlacing a woman must lose at least 30% of her waist measurement. I have no personal experience with that, but I have talked to a few girls that do, it can be painful and have unpredictable consequences. If someone is going to take waist training this far, she needs a support community and/or a doctor that understands and supports tightlacing(they do exist).

As for other health concerns, almost every single purposed health risk has been debunked, but do your research before you start lacing. Most important, listen to your body.

I recommend reading this book The Corset: A Cultural History by Valerie Steele
even though it’s written by a fashion historian, it answers a lot of questions about health risks and the truth behind past politics of the corset.

Thank you.
Arya

 

Thank you Arya Blue for answering my questions! I’m completely fascinated by the whole concept and hope to get a real corset in the near future. I did get a cheap one off of Amazon, and it is a lot stronger that I thought it would be. I replaced the wimpy, short ribbon for a five foot grosgrain ribbon and it works pretty well. The corset is way too short though – I’m pretty long.

Corsets & Tight-lacing: A Conversation with Arya Blue (Part 1)

After finding out that Arya Blue has a lot of experience in corsets and tight-lacing, I asked if she could answer some questions about them for my readers, and luckily she agreed! She even picked out some pictures! The  post ran a little long, so I divided it into 2 posts. Part 2 will be posted Wednesday morning.

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You said that you have been tight-lacing since you were a teen, were you a casual user, like for cosplay or burlesque, or did you waist train?

ABB: How I got started with tight-lacing — I was the first girl in my class to get boobs and a butt, they came all at once too. I felt fat when I wore baggy clothes, boxy. I started to accentuate my small waist with tight clothes or shirts that exposed my midriff. Without my budding(lol) obsession with having a small waist, I probably wouldn’t have even considered tight-lacing.

I spent a lot of time at the library when I was younger (a lot!). The summer I turned 14, I was just starting to get into historical victorian romance (almost erotica; heavy on romance with lots of sex euphemisms). These were horribly written, predictable garbage, middle age women take on vacation type books, but several of them discussed tightlacing. It was enough to spark my curiosity in waist training. That summer, I read everything I could find on the subject of corsets/waist training.

I started with ace bandages, cheap and easy. I would suck in my stomach, wrap myself as tight as I could and sleep that way. I did this, almost every night for a year. It took me a few months of practice before I could get it tight enough, so it wouldn’t slip while I slept. Sometimes, I even got up in the night and would re-wrap myself (I’m such a weirdo -lol). Eventually, I cut up several bandages, sewed them together, and put laces into it. It was really ugly. I saw noticeable changes within the first few months, and this kept me doing it. Since my body was still developing, there is no way to know how much of a difference wrapping myself made, but I personally believe it worked. I gave it up when I started seeing spots and experiencing blurry vision. I found out years later that this was because I was putting too much pressure on my abdominal area, not allowing for enough blood flow. This is a common problem with tightlacing.

Another thing to watch for is shooting pains in the legs. This is caused by too much pressure on the nerves above the tailbone(the sacrum). In both cases, it is your body telling you it’s too tight, loosen the corset. Always listen to your body.

TTC: Oh, that’s funny, when I was a kid I straightened my teeth using white dental floss and it worked; my teeth have been straight ever since! I wrapped behind teeth I wanted to pull forward and in front of teeth I wanted to pull back; it’s so hilarious how kids think and how they can work around financial and other concerns.

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You have a nice waist to hip ratio; do you think that has anything to do with wearing corsets, or is it purely from a lot of good work watching your diet and working out?

ABB: Thank you. :) It is primarily my body type (good genetics). I’ve always had an hourglass figure, and since puberty I’ve been doing everything I can to keep it and show it off. Being only 5.1, I have to watch what I eat, not obsessively, but it’s certainly a part of it. Exercise is a big part of it too. I do a lot of specific exercises to keep a small waist (yoga, bends, leg lifts, hula hoop).

Tightlacing has worked for me and taken permanent inches off my waistline. Mostly, it’s allowed me to move and keep my fat deposits in more appealing places than my tummy. Tight-lacing is basically the diet and exercise of the past. It’s what women used before they had diet and exercise to mold their bodies. With that said, I’ve seen girls that waist train and don’t eat healthy or exercise, most end up with problem areas that are difficult to disguise (like a huge, misshapen butt). Waist training is not a quick fix, it’s uncomfortable and it takes time. If a girl is going to put the effort in to properly train her waist, she should be doing other things to maintain it too.

TTC: When I noticed that I formed permanent fat deposits above the waist of my jeans (a mini-muffintop, LOL) about a decade ago (after quitting smoking and gaining weight 5 years previous), I started using one of those rubber workout belts you wrap around your waist and sweat, but I wore it overnight for a couple of months, and that worked pretty well. It eventually broke and I didn’t replace it until recently. That was immediately what I thought of when I heard of waist training. I should probably take up the hula hoop though! That looks like an excellent and fun workout.

ABB: Hoops are popular dancing props in Burlesque. I read somewhere that burlesque is responsible for renewing interest hula hoops. An entire community now exists of hippie Jam band devotees doing crazy tricks with them. My cousin is a professional “hooper” (not even joking — I have another cousin who is a professional frisbee golfer. lol “Do want you love” means a lot in my family). I had her teach me a few of her tricks. It isn’t just moving it around your waist, although that is the best waist reducing exercise, but using your entire body for a difficult and creative workout. I highly encourage women to try it. Plus, it has the added advantage of making you feel silly and youthful, like jumping double dutch or doing extreme hopscotch. :)

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Were your first corsets the expensive custom ones, or did you ever buy and use any of the cheap ones off of the internet or from the mall?

ABB: After the ace bandages, I spent the rest of my teen years wearing lots of corsets and corset dresses. I was a bit odd and eccentric. :) My mom taught me to sew growing up (she could make anything). I made most of my own clothes, including corsets. These were not waist training corsets, just fashion.

I didn’t do any proper waist training, until I started professionally dancing burlesque(19). On my second day (ever) of rehearsal, the director asked me if I had ever done any corset training. He informed me that I needed to learn to breathe and dance properly in a fitted corset (achieving a smaller waist was just a bonus). He recommended I have one made, and start sleeping in it. Another dancer(Nanette-mmmm), an experienced waist trainer, helped me fit it and make the corset. This was not a ‘wear out’ type of corset. It was an underbust, made from four layers of satin and was double boned steel, this was extreme waist training. I hated wearing it but enjoyed the shape it gave my body. I spent a year cheating (not wearing it as often, as long, or as tight, as I should), still it took at least 4 inches off my waist. I really didn’t want my waist any smaller, so for the most part I stopped tight-lacing.

In the years since, I only go back to waist training if I see any gain. Most notably, after I had my son. I had a difficult pregnancy, and spent almost 5 months on bed rest. I couldn’t exercise, and gained more weight than I wanted. I spent the first year, after having him, going through the early steps of waist training. I started by wearing spanx type trainers, within a few weeks of giving birth, and moved slowly back into my waist training corset. Tight-lacing helped me quickly get my body back in shape, but keep in mind, I breastfed for almost 2 years (burns calories and reduces belly swelling), worked out and ate healthy.

TTC: LOL, I was a bit odd and eccentric, too; my little sister and I collected and wore vintage clothes in the 1970s and early 1980s. There I’d be at some punk show wearing a pillbox hat, a froofy dress, stilettos and white cotton gloves. I also made a lot of my own clothes and have used a sewing machine ever since I was big enough to sneak into my parents’ room and use my mom’s machine to sew doll clothes. I thought about sewing my own corset, but the task seems daunting!

ABB: It’s difficult to make a tight-lacing corset. This is a garment you will wear (if truly waist training) for thousands of hours in a single year. It needs to be fitted and constructed correctly, or it will be unbearably uncomfortable. I have all kinds of advice on patterns and techniques I’ve learned along the way(that’s a post by itself). With the internet, information is so accessible, you shouldn’t have any problem finding resources to help you.
Useful websites:
Fran’s Writings on Corsetry and Tightlacing
Lucy’s Corsetry
Waisted Couture Corsetry

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Have you ever bought a corset that was professionally fitted?

ABB: Yes. Twice, both were made while I was still dancing burlesque and were part of stage costumes. My director loved to put me in ‘straight-jackets’’ (as he liked to all them). It’s a dramatic look for burlesque but it was incredibly difficult to retrain my movements and more importantly my breath control, while cinched in.

If someone is serious about waist training, they should have corset professionally fitted. They’re expensive($300 and up) and as you lose inches you have to have new ones made. It really adds up, but it’s the safest and most effective way to waist train. If you have tailoring and sewing skills, you can learn to make them yourself. It’s time consuming, and complicated (at first) but it’s much cheaper. Waist trainers don’t have to be pretty, but the do need to fit properly. I can’t stress enough how important the fit of a corset is, in relation to proper waist training. The general rule is to start with a corset that is 3 or 4 inches smaller than your waist. As your waist shrinks, so should your corset.

The best tight-lacing corsets are made from silk brocade (strong woven fabric). They must have steel boning, preferably double (twice as thick) steel bone. Look for ones with all spiral steel boning or at least some. It needs multiple layers of cloth, and extremely durable stitching. To prevent chafing from the laces, I recommend modesty panels. Make sure you take measurements from: your bust (if an over the bust type), under the breast, the waist, hips and the length between the bust and the hips.

Come back on Wednesday for the rest of the conversation!

 

Hair as an Indicator of Health

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Not too long ago I had very thin hair; I was using the flat iron a lot and eating the government sanctioned “healthy diet”. I was probably about 45 years old when I was at dinner with the family and one of my sisters mentioned that my hair was getting thin. She had just gone through a thin hair period (it runs in the family), and I’m pretty sure she fixed it with Rogaine or something like that.

I didn’t really do anything about it right away; I think I started taking gelatin and biotin supplements, but I tend to take supplements pretty haphazardly. A few months later I got a horrible haircut; I had been going to this girl and she was really great, and my hair looked awesome, but this time she butchered my hair. She took off about four or five inches and did something with my side bangs that just ruined that entire side of my hair. My husband was not happy with how short it was at all, and this was when I started concentrating on my hair in earnest.

Searching, the most common thing I read about growing hair was drinking bone broth, so I started making that. Just prior to this I had discovered saturated fats and animal fats and was experimenting with those. Seriously, saturated fats (butter, coconut oil, bacon fat, etc) changed my life. My body and brain LOVE them. I’m drinking coffee with raw heavy cream right now!

During this search and research, I discovered the Paleo/Primal Diet, and whereas I don’t religiously stick to it now, it really pretty much changed my life, too. Cutting out most of my carbs eventually cut out most of my inflammation. Before, I was mostly vegetarian, and after I was mostly carnivore. Not “you are what you eat” (who wants to be a grain or vegetable?) but “eat what you are” (you are an animal!).

For thick healthy hair, there is only so much you can do on the outside to help: you can quit using high heat appliances, you can oil your hair, you can only shampoo twice a week with a sulfite free shampoo and conditioner, you can go No Poo, but eventually you have to go to the source of the problem. You have to fix your body before you can fix your hair. If your body isn’t healthy, your hair probably won’t be either. A lot of hair is genetic, but if you give your body the necessary building blocks, you can maximize your hair growth.

I tried to use my flat iron as little as possible, and I thought that it was the main culprit as far as my thin hair went, and it did help, but I needed more. I was making bone broths and using them for soup but I didn’t really think of using them as lunch until I discovered intermittent fasting (IF), and broth fasting. I don’t constantly IF, though; I go on spurts of IF, resistant starch, and eating whatever leftovers that I happen to bring from home for lunch. I eat a full regular dinner with my husband each evening.

So, what is my current regimen? Monday morning I wash and blow-dry straight (I have very curly hair that is easier to straighten than it is to make the curls behave). Tuesday I use a YouCurl curling iron (I curl my hair in only three parts: back, and both sides for larger curls) to reduce bedhead ; it is damaging, but since it’s not used near the roots like a flat iron, it doesn’t thin your hair. Wednesday and Friday I shampoo and blow-dry, and Thursday, Saturday and Sunday I use the YouCurl. Sometimes I wear a hat on Sundays, LOL.

The evenings before shampoo day, I will oil my hair with either coconut oil or Argan oil or both. Every day after drying/curling, I use a tiny amount of pomade (wax) from either Pantene or Herbal Essences to make my hair less static and look more polished. The main reason I don’t shampoo every day is because I do more damage to my hair when I do. I looked for a dry shampoo to try, but I couldn’t find one, and then decided that I didn’t want to put any chemicals on my scalp. I’ve heard you can use baby powder or baking soda, but I’m not that adventurous.

Recently, I have been taking a couple of tablespoons of Blackstrap Molasses before bed with the zinc and magnesium supplements that I take to sleep (excellent sleep aid!). Molasses is also good for sleep like raw honey is. The honey didn’t seem to help my sleep, but I’ve been sleeping like crazy with the Molasses.

To improve the gelatin in my bone broth, I have been getting chicken feet at the Asian Market to add to my chicken broth and I have been getting cow hooves, feet, and tendons for my beef broth. My hair is now nice and full, and I only have another four inches to grow it before it will be the perfect length. The funny thing is that before starting on bone broth, both my husband and I were going gray, but after, both of our hair went back dark. I hardly have any gray right now and I’m in my early fifties.

Everyone remarks on how young we both look, and I’m pretty sure it is the collagen and gelatin (and minerals?) in the broth. I think it is helping our bodies resist “going south”. When you get to our age, and I’m in the middle of menopause, which doesn’t help at all, everything starts to sag. There really isn’t any way to stop this, but I think that broth helps retard the process. With a good diet, lots of broth, tons of squats, kettlebell swings, and some weight training, you can be in really good shape well into old age.

10 Best Ways to Laugh at Tucker Max

tucker max cat meme

1. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

2. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO!!!!!!!!   [Note: Dr Illusion has since make the post private and wrote another post after corresponding with TM.]

3. HAHA-LOL-HAHA-LOL-HAHA-LOL-HAHA-LOL-HAH!!!!!!!!

4. giggleCLAPgiggleCLAPgiggleCLAPgiggleCLAPgiggle!!!!!!!!

5. ZomgZomgZomgZomgZomgZomgZomgZomgZom!!!!!!!

6. heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!!!!!!!!

7. heh.

8. Yeah, that’s all I got; just wanted to get in on the fun!

9. Bwhahahaha!      <——-Everyone needs to read this – Free Northerner can see the future!

Invasion of the Blob Girls

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My husband drags me around (kicking and screaming, lol) to a bunch of tiny neighborhood dives for happy hour, and there is a trend that I have been noticing for the past few years that has been getting worse and worse: Blob Girl Bartenders. They look blobby, have zero personality, have their noses stuck in their phones 24/7, their bars are always sticky and filthy, and it is impossible to get a beer from them.

When you do finally get their attention you notice the vacant look in their eyes; there’s no working brain back there. The rare male bartender doesn’t have this problem, isn’t constantly checking his phone and will actually get you a beer. I’m not sure where all of the male bartenders went, but all of our bars are now almost completely staffed by blob girls for happy hour; maybe the male bartenders work the higher paying night shifts (we aren’t out at night).

Back in the day, before smart phones, the bartender would be forced to engage the public out of sheer boredom. Since they weren’t able to check their facebook status constantly, they would talk to their customers and might even notice that their customer’s drinks were low. Shocking, I know!

Bartenders were part of the bar-going entertainment and the more entertaining the bartender, the fuller the bar, the more drinks sold, and the more money the bartender makes. There used to be this concept of cultivating a clientele so that when you went to work you stayed busy and made money, but these girls are just putting in their time behind the bar. They are bored and boring.

I want to shake them and tell them to engage their customers and make money! If I have to be somewhere I don’t want to be, I want to make as much money there as humanly possible. I don’t understand working somewhere where you rely on sales for income and not making those sales or income. Why bother showing up in the first place?

The sad thing about this trend is that I’m pretty sure that these girls are incapable of engaging a customer. Some of them we have known for years and have never had a conversation. They were raised on social media and communicating online and may not even be able to carry on a conversation in person. I wouldn’t know; I’ve never seen them even try.

Some of the blob girls will advance to bar manager, and then they hire even blobbier girls to bartend. It is like they barely scraped together enough gumption to make it to manager, and they don’t want competition, yet they need a consistent warm body behind the bar. But they don’t want that warm body to outshine them in any way, so they hire women who are even more bovine and cud-chewing than themselves.

There are woman bartenders with a work ethic and pleasing personality, but they are very rare around here. There is also a bar staffed purely by males, and they are entertaining, clean, and efficient. When a bartender stops to refill a drink, wipe down a part of the bar or empty an ashtray, those are all excellent opportunities to engage their customers and compel those customers to return.

When a bartender has her nose in her phone, she doesn’t notice the empty drink, the mess on the bar, and the full ashtray. She misses a chance to get to know her customers and to cultivate a working relationship with them. She misses the chance to ply her trade and make more money. I don’t think that Blob Girls are exclusive to the bar industry either; I think that they are everywhere, in every sort of job, watching the clock and doing the least work possible until they can finally leave. Please don’t be a Blob!

#MMGMMD Post Mortem

Mardi-Gras-Beads

I’m finally recovered from the Mardi Gras trip, and I’m almost caught up on all my work. It was, all in all, despite the injuries, a very good trip with a lot of really great people. It started out Wednesday, getting packed and driving to Dallas to see AryaBlueBaby and her husband. We had wine and he grilled steaks; it was a lovely time seeing them again.

The next morning we had what was supposed to be a seven hour drive to the hotel in New Orleans, but due to the traffic jams in Baton Rouge and on the endless bridges of stopped cars between Lafayette and NO, it took an extra three hours. We met up with Mitch and Jeremy at the hotel, had a couple of drinks, welcomed Matt to NO, and headed on out to Bourbon Street.

It was pretty deserted, but the weather was nice and so we wandered around there, seeing the sights and the most beat strippers I’ve ever seen. One poor girl had the worst case of flapjack boobs, and I really wanted to tip her heavily to help fund her future boob job, but I didn’t have any cash, and she probably would have just blown it on rent or food or something stupid like that.

I had the worst hangover Friday morning, and I rarely have hangovers. I’m blaming it on eating nothing Thursday except a couple slices of Jeremy & Mitch’s leftover pizza, drinking one sickly sweet hand grenade (gag), a bunch of $10 beers, and then going back to the room and drinking a bunch of bourbon and rice beer.

Friday we finally got up and about and decided to go eat at IHop. So gross. Floppy little pieces of meat with undercooked eggs drowned in some sort of questionable industrial oil. I forced what I could down the gullet, and then DoktorBill and Jeremy took care of my pancakes and hashbrowns. We hung out at the hotel for a while to meet up with Dr. Illusion and Mistress, and took off back to Bourbon Street.

It was a little more crowded on Friday, but after going to another (the same?) beat strip club, we settled upstairs in a nice little bar with a balcony. It was the perfect amount of people and craziness and noise, and we had a blast. We went back to the hotel late and gabbed until the wee hours. The next day we had a new member of the group, B.A. I didn’t see much of him, but he seems like a cool guy.

Saturday we went to see a big parade, Endymion, and those suckers were mean. They were throwing bags of crappy beads, and they were throwing them to maim. They hit Matt on the head and left a good-sized scab, and then they hit our Styrofoam cooler and blew that thing apart. I couldn’t even tell you how many times I got hit in the head with stuff. The closest restroom was at the Wynn Dixie, about six blocks away, which was handy; one stop to empty your bladder and then get supplies to fill it back up!

After the parade, we made the stupid move of going back to Bourbon Street. So stupid. It took so long to get there in the traffic jam that Matt at one point jumped out of the van and pissed on a fence. My husband and I had to go so bad that when we finally did arrive and get out of the cab, we ran to the nearest bar to pee. They said there was a one drink minimum, but after peeing, we just left. No incentive after.

The crowd was thick and full of fat old drunk zombies wearing beads. I bullied my way through the crowd until we finally found the bar from Friday. After paying $20 to get in, DoktorBill and I saw Mitch’s yellow hat at the back door. I bullied my way to the door and just barely was able to grab his scruff before he was lost to the crowd outside. Mitch, Jeremy, DoktorBill and I went upstairs and had a few beers. Did I mention that we might have ingested some LSD? There was too much noise, sensations and adrenaline in our systems to get any good visuals, but I was strangely sober and DoktorBill was very wasted. I tried to hammer some beer to get unsober, but it didn’t do any good.

Our phones didn’t work. We were unable to call or text anyone to try and find the rest of our group, so we hoped they knew where the hotel was and would be able to make it home. We left the little bar we were in and got back into the crowds; the streets were twice as crowded, and Jeremy was leading, pulling me along, DoktorBill was hanging on to me, trying to not fall down, and Mitch was bringing up the rear.

We literally were crushed by the crowd. I don’t know how we made it out of there, but all of a sudden, we stepped into an open space, a cab pulled up and the doors opened. The driver’s window was open so I asked if he was for hire and he said, “Get in!” The loveliest words I have ever heard. We got in and finally made it back to our hotel.

We never saw Dr. Illusion, Mistress and B.A. again; they all left early Sunday morning. We should have, if we knew better, all just gone back to the hotel and partied instead of going to Bourbon Street. We all would have been a lot better off and Matt and I wouldn’t have injured ourselves. Matt twisted his ankle badly and it was swollen and purple, and my innards were crushed.

I was so sore Sunday; my entire torso hurt from bullying my way through the crowds and being crushed. I didn’t know it at the time, but between eating nothing but crap, over-extending my bladder capacity, and being crushed, my organs weren’t working properly. Sunday night we chatted in the room until I started nodding off, and then Mitch, Jeremy and DoktorBill solved all of the world’s problems until early the next morning.

Monday we were supposed to meet for lunch and get some po’boys, but there were no cabs available and after Saturday night, we had little incentive to return to any sort of crowded environment. My gut was much worse Monday morning, and it was then that I realized that my whole gut/elimination system were not working. I took some cranberry and felt a lot better for it.

We just stayed in the room the entire day tripping. It was just the last five survivors, hobbled and crushed, tripping in a dingy, smoky hotel room. It was awesome! It was the best day of the entire trip. We had a ton of glow stick jewelry that we cracked open and played with and DoctorBill’s duct tape came in handy to tape the curtains shut to blot out that nasty sunshine.

Tuesday morning, I thought I was going to have to go to the ER. I was doubled over in pain and couldn’t even roll over in bed on my own. As grimy as New Orleans is (they take pride in their “historic” grime) I really didn’t want to see what the inside of their hospital looked like. I was in the throes of a burgeoning upper urinary tract infection with terrible constipation and crushed innards. It was really bad. Then I realized that I needed to take action, so I started taking a ton of cranberry geltabs. I felt a little better immediately.

There wasn’t any way that I was going to be able to travel on Tuesday, and it was cold and rainy, so we didn’t want to see parades. I just kept drinking water and taking cranberry until I felt halfway normal again, and I went to bed early. I wasn’t able to really even eat anything even though we went to a nice restaurant with yummy food. The next morning, I felt a little better and we got up early, packed, and hit the road home.

I did go see a doctor when I got back to make sure all of my internal organs were still intact, and he said that I was definitely crushed, but there was no indication of permanent damage. Since then, I have been trying to recover and catch up on work. I’ve been eating good, healthy home-cooked meals and started a batch of bone broth. I can’t wait for the next meetup! Please let it be more tripping and less injuries :)

Breaking Young Women’s Snowflake Exterior

snowflakes

Dealing as I do on a daily basis with a lot of young women at RedPillWomen subreddit, you really get a feel for the minds of girls today. Now there are perfectly nice girls that are married, or close to married, and working on starting a family and that absolutely “get it”, but frankly, there’s nothing to say to those girls except “Good job!” Those are the ones that help us with the new girls.

Let’s talk about the new girls. Most of these girls are young, anywhere from late teens to mid-twenties. They have completely unrealistic expectations of their futures. They are determined to have it all. They all have their timelines of what-happens-when thoroughly structured in their minds. They are all, each and every one of them, special snowflakes.

In fact, it is the special snowflakiness that is the hurdle to becoming a valuable member of the RPW community, because as long as they are concentrating on themselves and their unrealistic goals, they are unable to actually listen to the older members and take what they say to heart. These girls come in, gangbusters, and are smug and self righteous; they come in with attitudes and refuse to listen. They like to try to turn RPW into what THEY want it to be instead of what it IS.

RPW is like Fight Club in that after a few days of abuse on the porch, they become valuable members of our community. You have to tear down their snowflake exterior to get to the real woman inside. There was something about RPW that attracted them; they found us through a troll site making fun of either us or TheRedPill subreddit, and liked what they saw enough to get a new alternate identity and subscribe to our community.

It’s funny because we, the other moderators and I, basically have to game these girls. When they come in you have to slap down anything that smells of feminism. That is imperative. When they say equal, BOOM! Slap that down. Their shaming language like “Um…” or “Wow, just wow!” BOOM! Slap that down. Their haughty know-it-all attitude? BOOM! Slap that down. You can’t do this stuff nicely; women don’t get “nice” because to us “nice” is weakness. If you don’t slap it down, we don’t think you mean it.

When they start to “get it” we give them the little RPW flair to encourage them. When they start back up with their special snowflakiness we slap it down. Punish quickly when they are getting out of line, but slowly reward when they are on the right track. I read about these tactics on the male sites I go to and I recognize that those tactics WORK. AWALT.

On the other side of the coin, we have the whiners and complainers that love to husband/SO bash. It never starts out that way in the initial post, but comes out in the replies to comments. That cannot stand. We have to slap that down too. RPW is NOT about blaming or complaining about your SO. RPW is not there to discuss what our husbands can do for us, we are there to discuss how to be a better wife and have a better marriage.

Next, after they realize that their tone and attitude are important, they are still holding on to their unrealistic expectations. Almost always the scenario is to get their undergrad, go on to grad school and sometimes go for a doctorate. To a woman. Each and every one of them. They have their timelines to graduate the last of school at 26 or 27, find a husband, and have kids.

These women know exactly what their future field will pay, too. They are all going to make the maximum pay upon graduating without the benefit of having any experience. Each and every one of them is going to graduate and get a job that pays six figures. Of course some of them will, but the vast majority will not, and they don’t understand that pay differs from area to area. They don’t understand that the cost of living differs from area to area. They have no life experience; all they have is the exuberance of youth.

They have never had a job. They have never had to make ends meet, pay rent, buy groceries, or worry about most things that their parents worry about. They have never been told that they can’t do something, and when they have talked about their unrealistic expectations in the past, they were always encouraged. When we at RPW tell them the truth, it is a slap in the face to them. We are the first people to tell them the truth. Truth hurts!

I think that we scare them, too. Their future was neatly spelled out since high school and their timelines look excellent on paper. They know exactly what the next step is in their plan and they have been following those steps without deviating since they got into high school. We go in and tell them about reality and throw a monkey wrench into the works. It shatters their precious timeline.

They are absolutely terrified of not having it all. They have no concept of being “poor but happy”. They don’t understand how a man and woman can get married, start small and work together towards their future. They don’t want the starter home; they want the McMansion. They can’t marry a guy out of college; they need someone who makes six figures so that they can be a SAHM. Yes, the same girls who are intending on heading to grad school are also intending on being SAHM.

The problem with their timelines is that the husband doesn’t enter the picture until the woman is in her late twenties. After grad school, is “Find Husband” and then “Have Kids”. Of course the husband has to be able to support a family of five. And he’s going to magically appear at the right time, and he’s going to want someone approaching their thirties, and he’s going to want kids right away, etc and so on. What they want is the perfect red pill husband at their beck and call! They want the world and they want it NOW!

So, this is the new generation of women. This is what we are dealing with at RPW. We have to break through their Princess shell, smash their timeline and crumple their dreams before they will listen to us. We have to tear them down before we can rebuild them. We have to destroy their feminism and replace it with femininity.