The Drinker’s Diet

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Ever since I discovered the hangover curative properties of butter and subsequently eliminated almost all grains, starches & sugars from my diet, whenever anyone pointed out the oddity of my eating a bunless burger I simply stated that I was saving all my carbs for beer. Little did I realize that I was doing the absolute correct thing (subject to change because everything changes).

After completely screwing up my entire system trying a potato diet for 3 days, I continued to experiment with resistant starch in an attempt to colonize my colon with beneficial bacteria. I look terrible: my body is kind of puffy, I haven’t lost the 10lbs I gained on the potato diet, I feel like crap, etc. SCREW RESISTANT STARCHES! No more. I’m going back to eating meat, fat & veggies. I’m once again saving all my carbs for beer.

After announcing this on Twitter, I joked about a Drinker’s Diet, but then I remembered there was one back in the olden days: The Drinking Man’s Diet.

The Drinking Man’s Diet is almost exactly like mine:

“Did you ever hear of a diet which was fun to follow? A diet which would let you have two martinis before lunch, and a thick steak generously spread with Sauce Béarnaise, so that you could make your sale in a relaxed atmosphere and go back to the office without worrying about having gained so much as an ounce? A diet which allows you to take out your favorite girl for a dinner of squab and broccoli with hollandaise sauce and Chateau Lafitte, to be followed by an evening of rapture and champagne?”

Except that I generally don’t drink lunch while working, but I could totally go for the hollandaise and rapture part! There’s even a sample menu! Sounds Fab! Then of course when doing a search for it, LiveStrong pops up with the most ridiculously unenlightening article about how drinking is BAAAAAAAAAADDDDDD!!!!! Every LiveStrong article is some inane bullshit that doesn’t inform; it just takes up bandwidth & time.

Then I found this delightful site: Drink your Carbs. Awesome! I have a few very very minor quibbles, but for the most part I cosign:

If you are ready to get started, but don’t want to spend hours studying the intricacies of Basic Drink Your Carbs, Austerity Mode and Nightmare Mode, we recommend that you begin by adopting our three simple rules. These rules are not as effective as the full Drink Your Carbs diet, but they will get you 90-percent of the way there:

  1. Avoid all deep-fried foods;
  2. Avoid all added sugar and other sweeteners;
  3. Eat nothing white (This refers to simple starch-based, white foods. Eat all the egg     whites and cauliflower you want).

They basically advocate unlimited booze & meat, which is super awesome, and they do include butter & rendered fats, but they also include industrial seed oils like canola. They do differentiate between some fats & have a list of limited fats, which are of the industrial variety.  Also, they go for low-fat dairy & all the nutrition in dairy is fat soluble, so I’ll continue on with high fat dairy. They keep talking about soy products & I think I’ll pass. Fruit, too; fruit is a treat not a staple food. Otherwise, I’m there. I’m all about it.

There are other things you find when you search for Drinker’s Diet; NexxtLevelUp has a good article on Drinking While Staying Lean, there is this site, Get Drunk Not Fat, which has calorie vs. alcohol by volume. There is a funny but critical review of The Beer Drinker’s Diet, and as always an unhelpful LiveStrong article about how alcohol is BAAAAAAAAAADDDDDD!!!!!

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My Drinking Diet consists of this:

  • Save all your carbs for beer.
  • Lubricate your hangovers with saturated animal fats (organic & grass-fed if possible – whatever).
  • Eat your meat (organic & grass-fed if possible – whatever).
  • Veggies are for flavor. Don’t worry about eating a ton of them, but they can be delicious.

I also try to eat as many bone-in meats like rotisserie or roasted chicken, ribs, etc. & then I boil up those bones for broth. It is also a good idea to eat as many organ meats as possible for the added nutrients.

I’ll let you know how this works out!

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