GIRLcott Valentine’s Day

vday-heart-

I’m racking my brain to try & remember if I’ve ever celebrated Valentine’s Day. I think I did probably & I’m sure I did when I was young, impressionable & a serial monogamist. With my husband (I’m NOT going to start calling him Mr. Tcup! Okay, I might ‘cuz that’s ADORABLE!!!!) I think I celebrated it once maybe.

Thing is, why do you want to go try to make some reservation at a fancy restaurant & dress up & crowd into a packed place? Why don’t you just go eat a nice meal the day before or after if all you want is a tasty date/meal? Why does it have to be the 14th? Why does everything have to be so PINK?

If you want to buy your beloved a present, why don’t you just go out and do so & give it to him? Why do you have to wait for the 14th? Why do you need flowers delivered to your office? Flowers are a massive money sink on the 14th. If you want to buy flowers, grocery stores have pretty ones & you can buy them some day other than the 14th.

If a girl needs flowers delivered on the 14th to feel good about her relationship, she has bigger problems than her relationship. I don’t need flowers from Mr Tcup (teehee!) because all he has to do is walk through the office every once in a while & all the girls swoon. Not because he’s a whipped Mangina dutifully obeying the VD tradition, but because he oozes masculinity. Swoon.

And, any guys reading this, DO NOT buy her one of those Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman necklaces with the patented Tits & Ass pendant. Because those things look stupid as all hell once you realize they are just a stylized drawing of Boobs & Butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Tl;dr: Ignore the Valentine’s Day Industrial Complex & do something sweet for your sweetie TODAY! Or just fuck him/her rotten, whichever.

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4 thoughts on “GIRLcott Valentine’s Day

  1. LostSailor

    Yup. Spot on. Early on in my relationship with my ex, I refused to “celebrate” V-day. It’s a completely fake “holiday.” Once we were married, we did tend to go to our favorite sushi restaurant on the 14th, but we went there a lot other times anyway and they all knew us well (Michael Bloomberg was also a regular–it was really good, but, alas, is now long gone). We tended to go later in the evening and for several years before the place closed, the head sushi chef would go around gathering up the red and pink carnations from the usually then empty tables, wrap them in a little foil and present them to the wife. So I didn’t even have to buy flowers.

    Not that I wouldn’t buy flowers other times–my rule was usually for no particular reason, maybe because it was Tuesday. A man has to not overdo it. I did once get major points when my wife was taking a “half-day of beauty” at her usual salon and I had a half-dozen red roses delivered there. The manicurist would talk about that for years afterward. I guess having the right audience helps…

  2. TempestTcup Post author

    That’s awesome! I think random is definately the way to go, like what happened the other 364 days of the year? I’m all about doing things when the mood strikes or when you see something that will make him/her smile, but to save it all up for the same day as the rest of the world? That’s nuts!

  3. redpillwifey

    If we do anything, it’s usually something goofy to make fun of it… Last year, he changed my computer background to some cutesy generic valentine photo with an obscene caption. 🙂 This year we’ll probably sit down with a beer and watch an episode of House of Cards.

  4. TempestTcup

    Yeah, we will probably just do the usual Thursday thing. It was such a relief when we decided to quit celebrating the commercial holidaze (no kids, so no Christmas!). Now it’s just things like birthdays & anniversaries & we still don’t do presents, which is awesome because I hate shopping 🙂

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