This morning, while snuggling up to my sweetie, a bunch of different thoughts that I collected from around the manosphere lately congealed into the realization stated in the title of this post: Females are incapable of making themselves happy.
I discovered the Manosphere well over a year ago and took the red pill. The red pill is not pleasant; it is large and kind of chalky and sticks in your throat as you are taking it. You choke, you gag on it, you want to perform the Heimlich on yourself to spit it out, but finally you get that mofo down.
My getting the red pill past my esophagus was the realization that I was not the most important person in my life; my husband is the most important person in my life.
Before the red pill, back when I was the most important person in my life, I was bored. I was unhaaaappy. Since I put myself first, and I was in charge of my own life, it was up to me to make myself happy. No amount of new shoes, cute haircuts, promotions at work or anything else I tried made me happy. I was incapable of making myself happy.
Once I put my husband first, and started thinking of how to make him happy, I became happy. I mean, that sounds sappy and maybe a little trite or whatever; it sounds like advice someone really old would tell you & you would pat them on the head & smile at how out of touch the old dear is, but it is true. The best way of making myself happy is concentrating on making my husband happy.
Judgy Bitch has an excellent post on woman’s capacity to love others more than themselves & this was a part of my realization this morning. The other part of the realization was a post The Private Man had on how men should let a woman be nurturing. (He promised another post on nurturing, hint, hint.)
When I realized that my husband was the most important person in my world, I made it a specific goal to look as hot as I possibly can – in the way that HE wants, cook his favorite foods, & make him feel special and loved. I changed from “never say no” to “always be very enthusiastic” regarding sex & cuddling and everything about him.
The reason feminists and women in general can never be happy is because they are the most important people in their own worlds. They spend their lives in the pursuit of their own happiness. They will never find that happiness in themselves. It doesn’t exist.
They will only find happiness in losing themselves in love. This love could be the love of a child or the love of a good man (yes a NICE man). Losing that insatiable desire to make yourself happy or being upset that SOMEONE ELSE isn’t making YOU happy & turning it into the desire to make someone else happy is the key.
When women try to make themselves happy, it always turns into something stunted: riding the cock carousel (the NEXT asshole alpha will make me happy), getting addicted to plastic surgery (if I were prettier I would be happy), climbing the corporate ladder (if I made six figures I would finally be happy), etc. It doesn’t ever work & that’s why feminists are perpetually unhappy.
The thing is that I don’t think this is true of men. Men are perfectly capable of making themselves happy & are less happy when trying to make women happy. (Holy crap I’m writing the word “happy” a lot!)
I also think that when the male writers of the Manosphere say “What do you bring to the table” they mean “How are you going to do your best to make me happy”.
I hope all this makes sense & I didn’t ramble too much. This is just a thought I came up with this morning & it hasn’t completely congealed yet. I really just wanted to get my thoughts down and out there because I think I might have figured out something of earth-shattering importance. (Or not, whateves 🙂 )
[Note: while looking for a graphic for this post, I searched images for “happiness” & every other image said something about how “happiness depends on ourselves” & “the only person who can make you happy is YOU”, which may be true for men but is not true for women.]