I am going to try my best to explain the introvert girl, but I really only have me and a couple of friends to go by. Keep in mind that I might be a special snowflake so YMMV.
I’m also kind of an extreme version; I scored high in all 4 areas of INTJ – 60s & 70s in all areas. I took an Autism Spectrum Quotient & also scored high (I’ve always scored high on tests, lol!) at 27 when I think “normal” is 16 & Aspergers is 35 or so. As a more introverted person I might see the less introverted as extroverts.
If I were typed by Koanic Soul for his forum (husband didn’t seem wildly excited about me sending pictures, so no go) I would probably be typed as a TT because I have a good-sized occipital lobe & large green eyes. This type is described as “sensitive” and monogamous and is protected from the rest of the forum. Also, another funny thing about his site is I have always used koans, I just didn’t know what they were called & I thought it was a OCD thing or something.
All that being said, other introvert females probably won’t be as bad as me.
So, where the hell are you going to find these introverted girls? The problem with meeting introverted girls is that either they segregate themselves or they are segregated by society, employers, etc. Like right now at my job there is a large office that houses all the office workers & then I’m put in a separate office (the only person not in the large office) so that I can “concentrate on numbers”. At first I was kind of hurt that they segregated me, but now I’m fine with it. Those extroverts in the large office NEVER SHUT UP EVER!!! Plus, my office has large windows. I win.
The introverted girl will be put in a position best befitting her brain – she will be in a secluded, quiet place cataloging something. She will be in the bowels of the museum cataloging pottery, not at the front desk greeting people. She will be in the back of the library, not manning the information counter. She will be in the kitchen, not the hostess at the restaurant. In college she is the girl painting in the deserted art building in the middle of the night. In other words, she will rarely be seen in public.
The introvert girl is the one that takes a book to the bar during happy hour. Or really, the one reading a book in public. In fact, this might be a way to get past her defenses; sit next to her & open a book & start reading. Now of course, with the ubiquitous smart phone, she will be reading something on her phone about Gut Flora or whatever is her latest obsession.
And she will have defenses! If you do find the elusive introvert it will take you some time before she lets you past her shields. If you come on too strong there is an equal chance that she will leave or she will cut you down viciously. Sometimes her introversion will be masked by alcohol & she might even engage! But she will probably not go home with you.
I think the best approach to meeting an introverted girl is to cultivate an interest in something non-mainstream. I’m wracking my brain to think of where these girls might actually hang, but I’m coming up empty.
Personally, one of my favorite activities is looking for strange books in the “metaphysical” section of Goodwill. You can find a lot of cool anthropology books from the 1970s before political correctness killed the field. I also look for really old cookbooks with pioneer recipes & old-time frontier wisdom. I like going to Asian & Mexican groceries to look at the offal (& sometimes buy, but it intimidates me!); I like going to mainstream grocery stores at 8am on the weekends.
I go to happy hour at very small neighborhood bars. This might be the easiest place to find them. A lot of times you might find them in a larger group of girls during nighttime hours; she is the one quietly smiling. Just look for the big-eyed girl who won’t talk to you. No pressure!
photo via trishwriter11