How to Create a Happy Husband


This is from a comment I left on Ian Ironwood’s excellent post: Breaking Beta: The Boob Test, about how I upped my husband’s Alpha by reverse-engineering. I’ve been leaving comments like this all over the manosphere, but I never thought to actually post this here. I know this sounds manipulative, but it only involves three little, but very important steps:

Don’t be a Bitch; Always be Enthusiastic; & Let Him Run the Show.

I started on a program to Reverse-Alpha my husband (reverse me being a complete ball-buster) last year about this time & it’s going swimmingly! What I did was quit doing all of the things that made him back down into Bad-Beta (the cringing Beta, not the flowers & sweet words Good-Beta). By me not nagging & shit-testing him, he improved dramatically! I think this is what the seven-year-itch is about – it takes the wife that long to know exactly how to suck the soul right out of domesticate the husband.

Then, I quit initiating sex (I was the main initiator & sometimes felt like I was forcing myself on him) while always ‘accidentally’ being ready & available for it. Oopsies, look I just happen to be clean, nude & cuddled next to you when you wake up! I told him about 6 months later that my body was his to touch whenever & however he wanted: not just ‘never say no’, but ‘always be very enthusiastic’. That’s when he discovered his new-found passion of swatting my ass, lol.

I had been running the marriage (yeah, I know, I know), but I stepped back & quit making the big decisions. I pretty much quit making all decisions except my personal work ones & little ones, like what I’m cooking for dinner. I started leaving pertinent Red Pill blog posts on the screen when he got online to check his stocks & the news. He started bookmarking some of them & then he would sometimes implement some of the ideas therein. I have the most amazing marriage now.

Tl;dr: Men are much more Alpha when they are not miserable!


25 thoughts on “How to Create a Happy Husband

  1. Lisette

    Tempest, you totally rock. I love hearing stories of people making positive change.

    “Don’t be a Bitch; Always be Enthusiastic; & Let Him Run the Show.” i think i am going to embroider that on a pillow 😉

  2. Belle of the Library

    I just read this in its original form and I think this is pretty great advice in general. We all get used to demanding things from people and forget the amazing results to be had from asking sweetly.

  3. TempestTcup Post author

    It’s funny how people can be mean (nag, etc) to the most important people in their lives. I was horrified when I realized & I’ve been trying hard to make it up to him.

  4. Bill Powell

    I’m glad you figured it out before it got too far gone to salvage. I’ve been there, done that. Your husband is a lucky man.

  5. TempestTcup Post author

    We didn’t have a bad marriage; it’s just that it is soooooo much better now. It was good & now it’s really great.

    Of course, I might be delusional; the other day my husband actually said, “Thank God for the Manosphere!”

  6. TempestTcup Post author

    Lol, it’s something they used to talk about in the dark ages when I was a kid! There was even a movie by that title in 1955 (I’m not that old, I was born in the 1960s) with Marilyn Monroe. It’s the one with the white dress over the subway grating.

    It’s the inclination to become unfaithful after seven years of marriage. It now is referred to as the urge to move on from any situation in seven years. It started out referring to particularly irritating and contagious skin complaint called Army Itch.

  7. yousowould

    Interesting. If more women possessed the requisite level of social intelligence to pull something like this, there would be a lot less failed marriages. Let’s not forget that the traditionally feminine role was to superficially acquiesce whilst covertly manipulating the men in their lives into doing what they wanted.

    That said though, I wonder if the fact that you know consciously that you have had to create this alpha behaviour tarnished the effect of it somewhat? Or is it the case that now once created, the alpha is self perpetuating, and you can take a back seat and reap the rewards?

  8. TempestTcup Post author

    Well, really I had I to do was be nice & not browbeat the hell out of him! He was always pretty alpha (fought competitively in high school, pilot by 18, etc.), I had just kind of bitched that into submission over the years. But now I’m definitely reaping the rewards 😀

  9. yousowould

    Well, good on you, glad it’s working out.

    I’d love to see any woman try to browbeat me into anything. Then again, probably explains why I’m single 😉

  10. TempestTcup Post author

    Well, it wasn’t overnight; we’ve been together almost 30 years. I probably didn’t browbeat him for the first decade or so, lol!

  11. TempestTcup Post author

    Early 50s. Although I don’t feel that old except when I’m first moving around in the morning!

    I think it’s really easy to fall into that cycle the manosphere always talks about: shit-test, he fails shit-test, which causes more shit-tests, etc & so on. It’s best to just not shit-test in the first place!

  12. Hamster Tamer

    COMMMMmmmm-PLETELY off-topic, but… I’m the same age, and was wondering if I could just get a quick “read” or reflection, from both you and hubby, on… The APOLLO MOON LANDINGS. What kind of profound thoughts and feelings they inspired in your then-young self, if you were surprised they didn’t continue on, resulting in moon bases, Mars bases, etc…

    And if you two had/have children, how you felt about them growing up withOUT such a history-making undertaking going on, “live”… and if they studied it in school?

    PS: We *did* talk about you at TPM’s Spring Break Man-o-sphere Meetup Extravaganza-Bonanza-Palooza… but only in respectful and chivalrous tones. 😉

  13. TempestTcup Post author

    It’s funny you mention the Apollo missions – my dad actually worked during that time designing rocket engines for them. My parents still have a booster engine in their attic. Crazy, huh?

    I think they had a huge impact in our lives. The future seemed so exciting! I didn’t know anyone who didn’t want to be an astronaut. We didn’t have kids, but I have a nephew & I’m sad for him that the future seems bleak – nothing to inspire.

    I really did think there would be bases on the moon, etc, but I grew up reading sci-fi (& I read voraciously!), and I believed totally that what was described in the books was going to happen in the future. VERY DISAPPOINTED!!!!!

    LOL, be there or be the topic of conversation! (not that I think any time was spent on the topic of me) I wish someone would have a meet-up where females are invited; it’s like I finally find a place where I feel comfortable & I’m still outside looking in because it is the MANosphere & I’m of course female. (not that I’m spending any time crying over the fact)

    But yeah, SOMEONE OUT THERE HAVE A CO-ED RED PILL MEET-UP!!!! You can chat with my husband & I’ll hang out with the girls (& Danny, hahahaha!).

  14. Stingray

    May I ask what I hope isn’t too personal a question? How do you feel now? What I mean is, now that you are actually in less control, do you feel more in control? Weird I know, but that is how I feel since I started freely submitting to my husband. I never really was in control as my husband would never have it, but I could never figure out what was wrong with me that I wasn’t. Turns out, I wasn’t supposed to be. When I got that part and I stopped pushing, I felt more in control than I ever had before and felt . . . free.

  15. TempestTcup Post author

    It’s a huge relief. I never knew that I didn’t have to be running the show – I’m a strong independant woman just like my mother! Hear me roar, lol!

    So yeah, I was always making it a power struggle when really we are generally of the same mind & usually come to the same conclusions & make the same decisions at the same time. Usually we just look at each other & know a decision is made. I was the one making things difficult by putting myself in a position that was unnatural.

    Guys on the manosphere are correct in saying they were lied to about relationships, but women were also lied to. It’s messed up because girls are encouraged to lead & boys are discouraged from any sort of leadership role. I grew up in the 1970s when this was just getting started & it is so much worse now.

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  17. Hamster Tamer

    … Apollo missions – my dad actually worked during that time designing rocket engines for them. Coolus Maximus. Means you grew up in… any of 8+ states in the US… the goodies got spread around… according to the clout of your congress-critter, lol.

    My parents still have a booster engine in their attic. Ah… ah… I waaan’ it!… How much $$?? Not sure what you mean by “booster” engine… would that really fit in an attic? In any event, I’m pretty sure if I mounted it on my pickup truck, I’d be the “BMOC” at any Sonic Drive-In on Friday night! 💡

    Crazy, huh? Nope, hanging on to the artifacts from the high water mark of Western Civ. is as sane as it gets. As Obummer and Duh Bankster$ lead us further into despair, I notice these items soaring in value! (OK, intentional pun–busted.) Just look at the millions$ Amazon founder Jeff Bezos spent to bring up just 2 of the giant F-1 engines from (maybe) Apollo 11–just two weeks ago! They were almost 3 miles deep!

  18. TempestTcup Post author

    The booster engine is actually pretty small, but very heavy. It is a hollow metal ball with a plastic (resin??) cone around it – it held solid rocket fuel. One of the guys my dad worked with took one home & used it as an ashtray at a party he had & blew a big hole in his roof!

    I grew up in a tiny 3000 pop. town that was full of engineers. It was awesome.

    My parents offered the booster to the local Air & Space Museum & they declined. Idiots!

  19. Hamster Tamer

    I wish someone would have a meet-up where females are invited; it’s like I finally find a place where I feel comfortable & I’m still outside looking in because it is the MANosphere & I’m of course female. (not that I’m spending any time crying over the fact)…

    Sorry, Bro-Code… can’t let you in on any of Duh Big Sekrets. 😉

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