Monthly Archives: April 2013

Benefits to being a Ne’er-Do-Well

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Not that I’ve ever been a ne’er-do-well; I’ve just seen them from afar & delighted in their glory. Some of my best friends are ne’er-do-wells! I’ve always been the dependable one. the stodgy one. The one everyone relies on. That’s even what I do for a living – I am a physical presence in the building & the person that signs the checks & does the math. My work place knows that I will be there unless I am in the hospital. I’m THAT person, unlike my more colorful brethren.

But I can totally see the beauty in NOT being THAT person & am moving towards that goal more & more every day. A couple of years ago I realized that being dependable puts me at a distinct disadvantage in the world of today. No one seeks out the dependable person to party; everyone seeks out the dependable one to help them move their stuff. Being fun >>> being dependable.

Say you are always on time, what happens when the ne’er-do-well is late? You are the one stuck waiting. If they flake, you are the one flaked on. Does the ne’er-do-well wait for anyone or get flaked on? How would they even know? They are too busy having fun, goofing off & not paying attention to the time to sweat the details! They are the ones ignoring the phone & finishing their drunken discussion.

One of the latest situations I’ve encountered that has driven this point home was T-Mobile giving my phone number away instead of porting it to the new phone service. No one can get a hold of me; it is blissful! At first it stressed me out to no end & I fought valiantly to get it back, but then drama happened & I could not be reached & that was when I found out how awesome it was to be unreachable.

I have a lot of friends that are constantly texting me with their new numbers. How the hell do they lose their phone numbers every six months or so? I had mine for at least a decade! I always thought it was bizarre that they were forced to change numbers, whether it was from not paying their bill, ditching the girlfriend that was footing their cell bill (most likely scenario), or what. Then it happened to me & I found a new form of freedom.

My phone doesn’t ring unless it’s my husband. No one is demanding my presence. My psycho sisters-in-law don’t call to demand that we fight some insane fight they have started because THEY CAN’T!!! They don’t have our numbers & they never will again! It was when we realized that no one ever called us for fun stuff; they called us when they NEEDED stuff. Screw that. Needy people SUCK! Now we are afraid we will actually get our old numbers back…

I’ll keep my job, though; they pay me a stupid, crazy amount of money for what little I do.

 

Micro-brewed Craft Beer

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Keoni Galt’s new post has convinced me to start drinking the local craft, micro-brewery beers instead of that Miller Lite swill I’ve been drinking. I make a conscious choice in everything else: raw milk from the dairy, high quality cigarillos, grassfed butter, etc. I don’t have a local grassfed source for my meat, but that’s next on the list. Here’s some of what Keoni has to say:

High quality alcohol manufacture is an artisan craft. Micro-brewed craft beers are “living” beverages, carbonated by the natural fermentation process. Mass produced corporate swill is “dead” pasteurized fare and injected with C02 to carbonate the beer. Same goes for mass produced box wine versus properly aged bottle and cask wine. High quality tequilas and mezcal are made with 100% distilled agave, and high quality whiskeys and rums are aged for years in oak barrels, a process in which the charred innards of the barrel wood work like charcoal filters that remove the impurities of the distillate over time.

The main reasons we drink Miller Lite is because it is a low point beer in this state & because it is only $1.50 – $1.75 during happy hour. I like drinking, but don’t like getting drunk, so the low point part is attractive. We are cheap bastards, but maybe we should reconsider that. If I had a pint of draft, craft beer it would cost $4-$5, but I probably wouldn’t drink it as fast.

And the really stupid thing is that I personally know one of the local brewers; I have absolutely no reason to not support him & the other local brewers from my town. So, I’m going to start doing this & I’ll let you know if it increases my cost of living. Dang, I’ll have to re-train all of my bartenders!

One reason we chose cigarillos over cigarettes is because we decided that cigarettes are way too addicting & cigars are too cumbersome. With our current favorite cigarillos we smoke 1-2 per night between the 2 of us & really don’t have any desire to smoke more. If that consumption continues, our annual outlay will run us about $500 per year retail, $220 wholesale.

Electronic Death or Dismemberment

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Ugh, there is a lot of electronic stress in my life right now. First of all we went to change our phone service from T-Mobile to the Walmart Family Mobile (through T-Mobile, even) to save $100 per month (!!!!!) & T-Mobile gave our phone numbers away instead of porting them to the new service. Evidently they do this to anyone with the audacity to change because we talked to someone else they did this to.

We know this because my husband called our numbers & talked to the people who now have them. We are trying to get them back, but don’t really have any hope. What I have had for the past week is a temporary number & I may get my old number back, keep the temp number, or get a new permanent number.

The problem is that I don’t know what will happen or when something will happen, if indeed something does happen. So, right now I can either give everyone my temp number & then maybe have to give another number in the future or ignore everyone & hope I didn’t miss out on anything. I gave the temp number to my family, but that is it.

I bought a new computer the same day as the phone fiasco & the second day the screen started flashing. I was ready to take it back right then & there, but then I got it to turn off & I turned it back on & it configured a huge Windows update. It seems fine now, but I have until next Monday to take it back.

I want to torture test it, but I don’t want to save anything to it in case I take it back. The only thing I’ve downloaded is Crap Cleaner, but here’s the weird thing: Crap Cleaner doesn’t wipe everything for Windows 8 like it does for Windows 7. When I sign into WordPress or other sites & type a “t” it fills out “tempesttcup” even after I wipe it. Windows 8 saves a lot of info that I don’t want saved.

Then today my husband calls & our old laptop has the blue screen of death. He managed to get it back working, but it is really only limping along & when it boots up it makes a sad little warbling noise. For the past week my shoulder & neck muscles have been like wire rope. Friday, however, we have plans to go to the gun range & then go steaming & sauna. Maybe I’ll get a massage. I need a Valium or Xanax or something, holy cow!

Adventures in Freezing Meat

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While I’m fermenting my next introvert girl (care & feeding) post for a couple more days (in me braiin), I thought I’d talk about what I’ve been doing lately: dealing with a lot of meat. I’m talking a LOT of meat. We bought a chest deep-freezer a couple of months ago & have been slowly filling it with meaty sale items (also 90% dark chocolate & grassfed butter).

Not too long ago there was a sale on “extra meaty” baby back ribs (a rack for about $6), so we got a ton of them. Now there is a sale on T-bones & strip steaks for $4.99 lb, so we are cornering the market on those. The thing is that I’m new at this freezing thing, so I’m looking up a lot of stuff on ye olde interwebs.

There is a lot of conflicting info out there! My main concerns were BPA in plastics & freezer burn. I like the vacuum sealed meats because they deal with freezing pretty well & the ribs we bought came frozen, so it was easy enough to put them directly in the freezer, but do they leach BPA? You would think that this would be an easy search, but you would be mistaken.

After quite a bit of searching  I got this from from Wikipedia (so, grain of salt this info), which says that whereas there is no labeling requirements for BPA,

“In general, plastics that are marked with Resin Identification Codes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 are very unlikely to contain BPA. Some, but not all, plastics that are marked with the Resin Identification Code 7 may be made with BPA.”

Another site, Diapers, Etc, says:

“Choose plastics that use polyethylene (#1, #2, and #4) and polypropylene (#5), which require the use of less toxic additives. They also are non-chlorinated. Avoid choosing products that use polyvinyl chloride (#3), polystyrene (#6), and polycarbonate (#7) which often are found in clear, hard plastics used for water, baby bottles or sippy cups.”

Then there is this alarming, but thorough article from Chris Kresser that basically states that absolutely no plastics are safe. Yikes. Whatever. I’ve already quit using all plastics for preparation & storage of foods, but the meats I’m buying are already packaged in plastic & already exposed. I can’t be THAT concerned or I’ll starve to death. I’m trying to limit exposure, not go nuts trying to eliminate it altogether.

The T-bones, strip steaks & ground beef I’ve been freezing aren’t vacuum sealed, so I’ve been double-wrapping them in freezer paper. The freezer paper is coated with plastic on one side, so I went a huntin’ for info on the type of plastic used. Holy crap, this info is stupid hard to find! Finally I found this forum that said:

“Freezer paper is coated with polyethylene, the same stuff that plastic bags and milk jugs are made of. PE is not quite as inert as Teflon but it’s fairly close. No, it will not cause bisphenol offgassing because bisphenol is not used to make PE.”

Now all I need to figure out is an easy way to implement the FIFO (first in first out) method of inventory. Frozen meat is heavy & cold & unloading the whole freezer to get to the old stuff on the bottom is crazy. I started freezing a few months ago, so I have already done this once & it was no fun. As for freezer burn, I will just have to see how well my wrapped stuff lasts. I think this is something I will only know with time & experimentation.

[Note: as You So Would states in this excellent comment:

“Interesting. Reading further from that same study, it goes on to say that “The relative proliferative effects ranged from 19.8 to 50.2% corresponding to an estrogenic activity of 1.9 – 12.2 pg estradiol equivalents per liter bottled water”.

According to the Wikipedia article on Estradiol, the average male naturally has anything between 14 – 55 pg (picogram – trillionth of a gram) of Estradiol per millilitre of blood. Assuming an adult male has roughly 5 litres of blood, then this corresponds to a minimum total amount of 70,000 pg.

Therefore, at worst, each litre of bottled water can increase your overall Estradiol level by only 0.017%, which would subside again over time – I’m not sure this is anything to be concerned over?”

So, this is just another instance of me buying into “conventional wisdom”. I should know better!]

The Fringe is Fine

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I’ve always been on the fringe, never in & of a large group. Not that I’ve never tried to be an integral part of a group, but that I was never a good fit for any group. In fact, I beat my head against the brick wall of a bunch of different groups trying to be a part of & fulfill a function of the group, but it has never worked.

I’m not sure if it is my introversion that has hindered, if my INTJ “know everything; question everything” is off-putting, or if it is my inability to kiss-ass that has kept me on the fringe of every group. Even here at work I am in my own office whereas everyone else is grouped in another office, including the owner of the company.

Even with my family, I am not really an integral part. They always forget that I exist; I’m not sure if it is accidental or “accidental on purpose”, but it is there. I gave up even trying with them years ago. Don’t get me wrong, I attend family functions when summoned, but I’m rarely summoned except for the expected ones like birthdays & holidays. I’m fine with this now; they are kind of a pain in the ass, anyway (sour grapes, lol!).

Just look at this fluffy little blog; skirting on the fringes of the manosphere, but not in & of the manosphere because I have an inny & not an outy. There is no way I will truly understand the male mind because I will never have one. I like the manosphere because it has lots of excellent advice, is mostly very friendly, polite people, so I’m gonna continue to hang.

I like reading the red pill sites dealing with bettering yourself & better ways of dealing with girls because these guys write really well & can really turn a phrase like very few people can. They are oftentimes very, very funny, which I try to be occasionally, but I’m not incredibly funny like them. I think that men have a larger capacity for humor than females do.

I also read a lot economic sites & I am definitely not a part of that group because they are way smarter than I am on all of that money stuff. I am mainly about self sufficiency & frugality, as far as economics go. I am also interested in “enjoying the decline” & preparedness. I see the world unraveling & I take measures to ride out the storm as best as possible. But these people are crazy smart & I’m mostly merely curious & using their knowledge.

The feminine side of the manosphere is another pretty cohesive group where I don’t really belong. I’m not religious, have no kids, I’m old, & whereas I have given up leadership of my relationship with my husband & try hard to submit to his authority, I’m pretty sure their version of “submission” is a lot different than mine. I really like reading their stuff,  they have awesome rants & they are also very friendly & polite, so I’m continuing to hang there as well; I just don’t have a lot to add to the conversation.

I also skirt on the fringes of the paleosphere; I am mostly paleo, but not a frothing adherent or anything. And holy hell, the paleosphere has a ton of drama & in-fighting. I mainly eat real foods that I cook myself or eat at a few restaurants that minimally process their food. But if there is a plate of cookies, there is a good chance that I will take & eat one.

And I’m not complaining; what good would it do? This is just something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately, and trying to figure out why it is so. Why do I even try? I think that I try because I want to be more social. It is easy to live inside my head 24/7 & I need to try to get outside my head & interact with others even though I’m socially backwards.

I also think that I am an extremely small-group person, like me & my husband small-group: a group of two. It is the only group where I have fully belonged & felt utter comfort. It’s funny because my husband is the same as far as not being a “group person”. I am his only in-group, as well. We just don’t function well in the larger world. We have very few peers because we have yet to meet anyone else like us.

So what am I going to do with all of this navel-gazing? I’m going to just continue on with my life & take it as it comes. I’m going to try my hardest to make my “group of two” the best group that it is capable of being. I’m going to socialize on my favorite blogs & try not to re-read & cringe at the goofy comments I leave. I’m going to be the best damn fringe-hanger-on I can possibly be 😀

Caution vs. Risk

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Men & women are very different & a major difference is seen in the way they handle risk. Women urge caution yet men need to risk. This is just another genetic trait that harkens back to the days of men hunting big game & women staying home with babies. The man who took the most risks usually got the most or best women.

This is also why it is bad for a single woman to raise sons; she is always urging caution & this may make her son fearful, which is setting him up for a dismal future of cubicle-dwelling celibacy. One reason a woman decides to have babies outside of a relationship is because in her mid-thirties she realized she was going to die alone & creating a human herself is the best way to avoid that fate. Of course she urges caution – if her kid dies, she will still die alone. So no climbing trees, no skateboarding, no doing any of the things boys need to do. Then again, a lot of times it backfires & makes the boy take more risks, so there’s that.

This is why women tell boys to “just be yourself”. It is safer than taking risks. Risk is going out on a limb & getting a better job. Risk is having fun doing dangerous things like flying airplanes, climbing mountains & diving for sunken treasure. Risk is opening your own business. Risk is how you obtain confidence, wealth & power: all the things that attract women.

Risk in men instills fear in a woman, which is a powerful but positive form of dread. Dread and fear create tingles, & tingles lead to sex. I’m not saying to go out & risk bodily harm for some random woman in hopes of getting laid, because that is the worst form of white knighting, but if your normal course of action is risk-taking, you will be attractive to women.

Don’t risk just to attract women, though; do it for yourself because that’s what makes you a man. Do it because it is fun & because it makes you money, or whatever reason you might have. Attracting women is only a byproduct of you being a man.

 

Don’t Argue With Your Wife – Dicker

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Photo via Whiskey & Ashes

I saw this bumper sticker on a car a few years ago as an elderly woman was exiting the car & I wondered if she put it there herself or if her husband played a little joke on her. I LOLOLOLOLed like nobody’s biznez! Then the other day I realized the true genius of the statement.

Say your wife or girlfriend is being a little cranky, a little bitchy; maybe your relationship needs a bit of maintenance, a smidgen of sexual healing. What you do is grab her, pull her hair, kiss her hard & then roger her righteously. Guaranteed she will no longer be bitchy or cranky; she will be looking swooningly into your eyes.

It seems like this may be rewarding bad behavior, but you aren’t casually dating this girl, you aren’t vetting a new girlfriend, you are performing desperately needed relationship maintenance. She is either insecure because you are too Alpha & she is getting a tad bit of the dread, or you are way too Beta & she is shit-testing the hell out of you. The best way to de-beta-ize yourself is to bump nasties balls deep.

If she is busy getting powerfully porked she doesn’t have the time or the inclination to bitch about petty stuff. Now, you may not feel particularly amorous towards her when she is nagging or irritable, but that’s fine; gentle soothing sex is not what she needs at that moment. Nice tender lovemaking will only piss her off more. Give it to her fast & hard & make her scream (in a good way, please 🙂 ).

You’re Welcome!