I’ve always been on the fringe, never in & of a large group. Not that I’ve never tried to be an integral part of a group, but that I was never a good fit for any group. In fact, I beat my head against the brick wall of a bunch of different groups trying to be a part of & fulfill a function of the group, but it has never worked.
I’m not sure if it is my introversion that has hindered, if my INTJ “know everything; question everything” is off-putting, or if it is my inability to kiss-ass that has kept me on the fringe of every group. Even here at work I am in my own office whereas everyone else is grouped in another office, including the owner of the company.
Even with my family, I am not really an integral part. They always forget that I exist; I’m not sure if it is accidental or “accidental on purpose”, but it is there. I gave up even trying with them years ago. Don’t get me wrong, I attend family functions when summoned, but I’m rarely summoned except for the expected ones like birthdays & holidays. I’m fine with this now; they are kind of a pain in the ass, anyway (sour grapes, lol!).
Just look at this fluffy little blog; skirting on the fringes of the manosphere, but not in & of the manosphere because I have an inny & not an outy. There is no way I will truly understand the male mind because I will never have one. I like the manosphere because it has lots of excellent advice, is mostly very friendly, polite people, so I’m gonna continue to hang.
I like reading the red pill sites dealing with bettering yourself & better ways of dealing with girls because these guys write really well & can really turn a phrase like very few people can. They are oftentimes very, very funny, which I try to be occasionally, but I’m not incredibly funny like them. I think that men have a larger capacity for humor than females do.
I also read a lot economic sites & I am definitely not a part of that group because they are way smarter than I am on all of that money stuff. I am mainly about self sufficiency & frugality, as far as economics go. I am also interested in “enjoying the decline” & preparedness. I see the world unraveling & I take measures to ride out the storm as best as possible. But these people are crazy smart & I’m mostly merely curious & using their knowledge.
The feminine side of the manosphere is another pretty cohesive group where I don’t really belong. I’m not religious, have no kids, I’m old, & whereas I have given up leadership of my relationship with my husband & try hard to submit to his authority, I’m pretty sure their version of “submission” is a lot different than mine. I really like reading their stuff, they have awesome rants & they are also very friendly & polite, so I’m continuing to hang there as well; I just don’t have a lot to add to the conversation.
I also skirt on the fringes of the paleosphere; I am mostly paleo, but not a frothing adherent or anything. And holy hell, the paleosphere has a ton of drama & in-fighting. I mainly eat real foods that I cook myself or eat at a few restaurants that minimally process their food. But if there is a plate of cookies, there is a good chance that I will take & eat one.
And I’m not complaining; what good would it do? This is just something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately, and trying to figure out why it is so. Why do I even try? I think that I try because I want to be more social. It is easy to live inside my head 24/7 & I need to try to get outside my head & interact with others even though I’m socially backwards.
I also think that I am an extremely small-group person, like me & my husband small-group: a group of two. It is the only group where I have fully belonged & felt utter comfort. It’s funny because my husband is the same as far as not being a “group person”. I am his only in-group, as well. We just don’t function well in the larger world. We have very few peers because we have yet to meet anyone else like us.
So what am I going to do with all of this navel-gazing? I’m going to just continue on with my life & take it as it comes. I’m going to try my hardest to make my “group of two” the best group that it is capable of being. I’m going to socialize on my favorite blogs & try not to re-read & cringe at the goofy comments I leave. I’m going to be the best damn fringe-hanger-on I can possibly be 😀