Monthly Archives: May 2013

A Few of My Favorite May Things

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After the long Memorial Day weekend & then another long weekend in a couple of days to go South on a mini adventure/gambling junket with my family (let’s see how well I remember to play Craps, shall we?) I will be out of pocket for most of the next week.

I’ve been saving links to really excellent posts that I’ve seen this month (when I remember – I’m really bad at this, but working on my shortcomings!), so I thought this would be a good time to get those out there. In no particular order:

Motivationalhierarchy makes a splash with This is Your Life as a Beta, Be Proud!

Ruxman contemplates networking with Project Social Circle

Sis specializes in loving-not-doing in Nesting

Stingray explains the trials & tribulations of the Red Pill Women

Sunshine Mary hits it out of the park with Marital Fitness Testing 101

Off The Food Grid takes Paleo back a notch to The Pleistocene Diet

Bill Powell has a bunch of stuff we all need to read in Executive Orders

You So Would writes about The Reason The Pill Tastes Bitter

Keoni Galt explains the Anti-Monsanto diet in Biotech is Godzilla

Matt Forney on becoming an accomplished superman: “Don’t You Even Have a Life?”

Red Pill Wifey steams up the ‘sphere with Sexting & Role Play part 1 & Part 2

Life of Liz posts an essay on fitting into the college experience

Francis Begbie tells how health is everything in I Care Because You Do

The Private Man has Five Noble Truths About Attraction & Dating

I know that I have read many, many more really great posts this month, but I have a ton of work to do to prepare for being gone from work for a 5-day weekend in a couple of days! I hope everyone has a pleasant week & I hope everyone’s weather is beautiful.

In a final note I would like to thank Viva La Manosphere for including me in their line-up, Bill Powell, Matt Forney & The Private Man for tweeting my links, everyone who added me to their blogroll, and all my awesome commenters! Thank you all for everything; I really appreciate the love 😀

Attractive Privilege

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Perusing Twitter I saw this:

So there’s this really, really cool tumblr that points out why you bitches who take care of your weight & hair & clothing are privileged. So stop it. Why don’t you gain a million pounds & quit washing your hair already. Those heels & that makeup are only compounding the problem; try eating a carton of ice cream every once in a while, gah. Figure it out already; if you are attractive you are as bad as a racist or a person with thin privilege. Stupid hotties.

Attractive privilege is having one of your best friends like a guy and see him give off signals that he may too, only to find out from one of his guy friends he wants someone who is “pretty” that he could “have sex” with, someone who is “attractive”, which is code for not ugly apparently. As if ugly women can’t do any of those things, as if the only way to know if you’re attractive is by your face…disgusting.

Attractive privilege is being able to feel good about your body.

Attractive privilege is being able to go into a restaurant without people giving you strange looks.

Attractive privilege is not having entire campaigns dedicated to eradicating your face type.

Attractive privilege is knowing boys would rather have sex with you.

Attractive privilege is getting tips when you work at a strip club. I used to work at a strip club in Los Angeles. At most strip clubs, strippers work as independent contractors that earn their pay through tips, lap dances, private dances, the works. When I worked there for a month, I barely got any tips. Was this because I was the only fat stripper there? Felt like it. I feel like the club should have been more active in making sure I got a fair pay while I worked there. Fat people should have just as much of a chance as earning money in stripping as their thin counterparts.

If you have trouble overcoming your attractive privilege, I have a few handy tips for you to try:

1.) Cut your hair really short – make it look “edgy” like it was cut with a weedwacker.
2.) Get a lot of really cool tattoos of famous peoples’ faces. Chest tattoos are best.
3.) Eat a little more; no one wants to date a stick, get yer curve on, girl!
4.) Dresses are fussy & tight jeans are uncomfortable; sweatpants are juuuust right!
5.) Don’t look fake & wear makeup. Try the natural look, heck, don’t even wash your face.
6.) Throw that razor away; boys should love you for you, armpit hair included.
7.) Working out is a hassle & there are all those D-bags at the gym. Boycott the gym!
8.) Heels are uncomfortable & make it hard to walk; flip-flops are cheap & easy.

So don’t be privilegists & tip your fat strippers ‘cuz they need $$$ too!

Why Women Today are Fat & Unhaaaaappy

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I love old cookbooks, not the ones from the fifties, although I have a couple of those, too. I love the ones that compile recipes & helpful hints from the pioneering days or the ones that are reprinted online for our viewing pleasure. I love looking at the stuff they had to do to keep a proper house back before houses had electricity.

Women got to do all day every day what I do in my spare time for fun. Right now I’m making rice wine, but back in the day housewives did that all the time with blackberry wine, dandelion wine, etc. I make my own yogurt & my grandmother used to make her own cottage cheese.

Now, to find ingredients to do most of my fun-time food projects, I have to go to the Asian market because the Asians still make things like bone broth & kimchi & rice wine. Oh and look, the Asian women are still skinny – I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fat Asian woman at the market.

I think keeping house before modern appliances was incredibly more satisfying than it is today. Back in the olden days, women did things on a daily basis that would require a degree in chemistry today. Look at these “helpful hints” from the 1887 White House Cook Book:

To Clean Brass-Ware, etc.:—Mix one ounce of oxalic acid, six ounces of rotten stone, all in powder, one ounce of sweet oil, and sufficient water to make a paste. Apply a small portion, and rub dry with a flannel or leather. The liquid dip most generally used consists of nitric and sulphuric acids; but this is more corrosive.

Polish or Enamel for Shirt Bosoms is made by melting together one ounce of white wax, and two ounces of spermaceti; heat gently and turn into a very shallow pan; when cold cut or break in pieces. When making boiled starch the usual way, enough for a dozen bosoms, add to it a piece of the polish the size of a hazel nut.

An Erasive Fluid for the Removal of Spots on Furniture, and all kinds of fabrics, without injuring the color, is made of four ounces of aqua ammonia, one ounce of glycerine, one ounce of castile soap and [Pg 567]one of spirits of wine. Dissolve the soap in two quarts of soft water, add the other ingredients. Apply with a soft sponge and rub out. Very good for deaning silks.

Holy hell, can you even get those ingredients anymore? Not that I’m going to start enameling shirt bosoms or anything, but back in the day (after indoor plumbing became all the rage) the drain was a series of foot-long clay pipes & people flushed copper sulfate down the toilet to keep tree roots out of their drains. Today you have to go to an industrial chemical company to get the stuff & you have to call ahead because they have to order it. Now everyone calls Roto-Rooter.

Taking care of the home was not only vastly more interesting, but a lot more exercise than today. If you’ve ever done laundry by hand, and I’m not talking about your delicates, I’m talking about sheets & towels, you will realize how much exercise it is. You will be huffing & puffing in no time. Have you ever churned butter? Yeah, me neither, but that is some good exercise (I imagine, lol).

Now, women sit in front of a computer all day doing busy work in their boring make-work jobs. They grab food on the way home & fill their brains with trashy scripted “reality” shows showing “glamorous” “housewives” & wonder why their lives aren’t like the ones they see on the idiot box. If only I had a spray tan! Maybe if I had a Brazilian wax! Oooo, a Carnival Cruise!

And why are they fat? Fast Food. It’s the only thing I can think of. Seriously, every old cookbook is half desserts. As a kid we had dessert almost every evening. My grandmother always had something sweet coming out of the oven. None of us were fat. It’s not sugar. They cooked all those deserts with Crisco, so it’s not industrial seed oils. There was wheat flour in all those deserts, so it’s not the wheat.

Fast food is making them fat, but not necessarily because of the nasty ingredients, but because they don’t have to work for their food. It is abundant, so they can get a Big Mac on the run & eat it in the car on their way home to sit in front of the boob tube while perusing facebook.

Tl;dr: Women today are boooored because they are boring & they are fat for the same reason.

Introverted Girls (part 3 – care & feeding)

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So say you found the elusive introvert girl & have even had a word or two with her & you want to continue down the path of never-ending love. It’s difficult because she is skittish & tends to withdraw into her shell, but I might be able to give you a few tips for dealing with her.

It’s hard to write these posts because I’m essentially saying, “This is how much of a freak I am & I can’t deal with you, so this is how you have to deal with me, or leave me the hell alone.” But, there seem to be a lot of people doing searches for this info, so I’m gonna put it out there. Please keep in mind that all I know about introverted girls is what I know about myself & I’m kind of a worst case scenario as I am pretty highly introverted, INTJ, etc.

Text; don’t call. If you want to make me audibly yelp & drop my phone – call me. Texting is much better & allows me time to dissect my response properly. If you call & startle me I’m going to blurt out all sorts of vaguely inappropriate things & make a complete ass of myself. If you text, I will probably do the same, but a little more nuanced.

Have hobbies. On any given day I have a number of terribly nerdy “experiments” in process or I’m studying something that is taking all of my attention. Like tonight I’m starting a new batch of rice beer (with special glutinous rice!) and broiling & then simmering chicken feet for bone broth. I might get a wild hair in a month or two & paint a few paintings for the open-call art show during the holidays. I can’t have you breathing down my neck the whole time. My husband goes outside & builds things & does a lot of masonry (bonus points for shirt off, sweaty, muscles rippling, hubba hubba).

Be interesting. Whereas your introvert will be self entertaining, she probably won’t find you interesting unless you are. She doesn’t want to hear about your hair gel or whatever it is that boring people talk about, but she might be fascinated by the steps you took to rebuild that carburetor. My husband was into flying & skydiving & rock climbing & all manner of activities that provided lots of tingles.

Don’t be negative. If I can hardly handle being around people, I certainly can’t handle someone bitching constantly. I either go far, far away or it gets to the point where I want to (& sometimes do) scream, “SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” Being overly upbeat & perky is kind of annoying too, but not nearly as bad. If you are having a bad day, it isn’t going to help you to vocalize it for an hour, but it will definitely bring her down.

Don’t touch her without some sort of warning. I have a really bad reaction to being touched without warning by strangers. I mean, once she knows you, she will be fine, but if it is the first part of the first date you might want to get her to touch you first by teasing & getting her to hit your arm or something. At least move slowly toward her when you go to touch so she has a few seconds to get used to the idea.

Don’t move too fast. She’s probably not going to sleep with you on the first date if she is very introverted. Hell, it took my husband & me a month to kiss after we realized that we were essentially dating. It’s the curse of the double INTJ couple, lol. If she does go home with you right after you meet, she will likely either be drunk or she will be fairly uncomfortable with the whole sex process, not to mention the whole waking up sober with a stranger process.

Don’t yell unless she does something really bad. If someone I care about yells at me I shut down completely. Like I need to go to sleep. If I’m not in a position to go to sleep, I go mute. I literally cannot talk – my brain won’t come up with anything to say. I might also feel like I have to throw up. Save this for relationship-breaking bad behavior because yelling at her may be a relationship breaker. If my husband yells at me for some reason, he has to coax me back into talking to him. It’s that bad. If it is a stranger or someone I don’t care about then I have no problem at all dealing a harsh slap-down.

Be decisive. Make the plans, drive the car, order the food, go to the bar to get the beer. She will be grateful. Whereas an extrovert will have all sorts of places to go & loves going to new places, the introvert might, but doesn’t really want to be the one doing the navigating & dealing with the servers. I can hardly deal with a new bartender at a place I’ve been going to for years; the ones that know me already have my order ready by the time we get to the bar.

If this all sounds like a pain in the ass, it is. Here I am telling you that you have to do EVERYTHING, and it sucks because if you want an introverted girl, you are likely an introvert yourself, so you really don’t want to do the same things that she doesn’t want to do, so it’s a conundrum. Here’s the deal though, you are the man & you just have to be the man. That’s really all there is to it.

If all goes well, she will reward you with pleasant, interesting, usually smart companionship & she won’t talk your ear off or be clingy. She will be equally fine with going places with you & staying home & snuggling. She will likely be very loyal because she has lived her whole life on the fringe & will probably appreciate finally belonging to another person.

Disclaimer: Each person is different & the above doesn’t necessarily reflect every introvert girl. I am taking from my own experiences & I’m a bit of an extreme example. Introverts have varying degrees of introversion and/or social anxiety. Also, you should never take dating advice from a female, so use your own best judgment, lol.

Conversational Sluts & Gut Flora

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Sunshinemary had an interesting post a few weeks ago about the human microbiome and how trading it during sex affects us:

When a woman comes together with her husband, she’s receiving more than just semen. She’s also being “seeded” by receiving a big dose of his microbiome inside her, a microbiome which literally affects who she is and how she thinks and feels. In a very real sense, we become part of the men we have sexual relations with.

She goes on further on the subject:

I am only wondering aloud here, but does it not seem that it would be stressful to a woman’s body and mind to receive the microbiomes of numerous men? Wouldn’t her body be able to adapt and function better if she only received that from one man? And doesn’t it make sense that she would bond deeply with that one man, given that part of him is now physically a part of her, affecting the very way she perceives the world?

This has been fermenting (hah!) in the back of my mind for the past week or so & then I realized why I hung onto it. My husband & I are bar gut-flora sluts. When we go to a bar, we will sit next to anyone & talk to them & just by the act of conversation, we share gut flora with them.

I have been working hard on colonizing my body with beneficial bacteria & I always thought of talking to people as me sharing my hard work (good gut flora) with them & increasing their health, but I never thought of them sharing their bad flora with me. And I certainly never thought that sharing a lot of strangers’ flora might be messing me up internally.

Just a few generations ago, there were close extended families that everyone spent a lot of time with & they would share their gut flora. People may not have had a lot of contact with complete strangers. When I was a kid being raised in the Catholic tradition, we lived in our Parish, went to school in the Parish school, went to Mass in the Church next to the school, played with all of the other neighborhood Parish kids after school & Mass. I bet if we had all been tested, they would have found that the Parish had a specific gut flora.

Which brings me to the subject of going to a wide variety of small bars & conversing with a lot of different people, a lot of which are complete strangers. I never thought of this as damaging my health. I never considered that this might be seeding me with detrimental microbiome. And the stupid thing about it is that most of these people are downright tedious, anyway. So it is damaging to my body & mind.

My husband & I were talking last night about how annoying a lot of the people are that we see on a regular basis & Sunshinemary’s post came to mind. I told him about it & suddenly it all made sense – we need to only converse with the people we like & respect. Only share gut flora or microbiomes with people in which we want to invest. We need to quit being conversational sluts.

Male Harem: A Case Study

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I know this woman that has a soft harem of lower betas (they are getting laid, so I assume that would be beta?). She was born in the Summer of Love to hippie-dippy parents that gave her a hippie-dippy name like Sunflower. I wouldn’t call her a friend because she is super annoying, usually trashed, loud & pushy, etc, but she is fascinating to observe in the wild because of her harem. Or do I call it a Stable? Are they beta orbiters that occasionally collide? Heck, I don’t know what to call whatever the hell it is that she has, but watching it is sad yet hilarious.

Whenever we arrive at this hipster bar for happy hour, she is generally there with at least one of her orbiters, but sometimes she has a whole line of them going. There is a hierarchy to her stable & the “need to know” aspect is congruent with their place in that hierarchy.

The main fellow is her Sugar Daddy; he pays for her life. He travels for business, so we only see him once or twice a month. When she is with SD, she wears a HUGE rock on her left ring finger, is sober, dresses up in dresses & is super sweet & friendly to everyone. When she is with him, her other guys leave her alone & ignore her. SD has no clue about the others.

Then there is a tall thin fellow with Bushy Eyebrows. BE is #2 and doesn’t know about #3, #4 & however many millions of others she has. I don’t know if BE knows about SD. I don’t see BE in the hipster bar without her – he isn’t really a regular there. Last time I saw her there with him, the other two fellows lower on the totem pole were lined up on the other side of her but not engaging her.

#3 is a large British fellow that frequently wears one of those little cloth welding caps welders wear under their masks, so I’m assuming blue collar. He knows about #1 & #2, but I’m not sure if he knows about #4. He seems perfectly fine with the situation & I’ve seen him sit patiently in the lineup of beaus sitting at the bar.

Of all of them, #3 is probably the one with the least emotional bond. I think he is there solely to get the occasional piece of ass & really doesn’t care who else she’s with. He is a regular & is there without her & is also talking to & picking up other girls. He doesn’t show any affection towards her & doesn’t hide the fact that they leave together.

#4 is a sad, tortured fellow. He knows about all of the others & he is last in line. He gets her when she is the most drunk because the other guys will walk away when they think they might have to do her sloppy. He has one-itis big time. He is always trying to show affection, but she brushes off his gestures. She will only let him kiss her in public when she is blackout drunk (at 6pm!).

When they leave, he tries to hide the fact that they are leaving together, so he has obviously had a talking to about the situation. He will show up at the bar without her, but is crying in his beer & does a lot of shots. It is a pathetic thing to behold.

Anyway, I didn’t know if this was a common thing for females to have a bunch of lovers. I mean, I get that some women have a husband & the pool boy, but is it common for a female to have so many males waiting patiently (& not so patiently) for their turn? She isn’t particularly that pretty; she’s in her mid-forties, she’s kind of chunky & she’s annoying as all hell. When she gets drunk she sings out loud. She thinks she has a great voice, but she is mistaken. Very, very mistaken.