I know that this is a basic mindset used in picking up girls, but sometimes in married life you would be well off using outcome independence as a sexual tool. For instance, you don’t have to work up to a big sex session, which is incredible – don’t get me wrong, but maybe you just snuggle nude & see what happens. Maybe something happens; maybe not. Okay, something always happens 🙂
Outcome independence is: if both of you orgasm, Super Awesome; if only one of you has an orgasm, Great; if neither of you cums, it was still a helluva lot of fun!
OI means that if one or the other just isn’t really feeling it or is too stressed you can stop & there will be no hurt feelings on either side. OI means you can try again later. OI means you have sex often because you are often trying again later. OI means that there is no pressure if you just stick it in & move it around a little. I guarantee that if you practice OI, you will actually experience more orgasms.
I think that sometimes women’s hesitation in having sex is that maybe sex is usually a full-blown hours-long affair with pressure to orgasm, bodily juices squirting everywhere, messed up makeup & hair. I mean, that is fantastic & all, but maybe sometimes she just wants a fun little quickie. Maybe she just wants to do it & then go shopping or something. Maybe she doesn’t want to muss her hair.
OI is helpful as you get older, too. Sometimes things don’t work as well once you’re past your prime. Everyone has more aches & pains, it’s harder to move from position to position, that bursitis flares up… Pain is very deflating (heh!); you can be going at it, almost there, almost there, ouch leg cramp! It happens & may even be embarrassing occasionally, but if you practice OI you just pick it up a little bit later. Eventually the job gets done.
Or say you’re contemplating wild drunken monkey sex. I can rarely cum after drinking; does that mean wild drunken monkey sex isn’t fun? Hell no, it is an incredible amount of fun! An incredible amount of orgasmless, spoogeless fun! Do it anyway, take some cranberry gelcaps to ward off the inevitable whiskey-dick UTI, & then sleep like a rock.
When he wakes up with an onerous boner, you may think that your impromptu blowjob won’t result in a payload because of a full bladder, but do it anyway. So what if there is no payload? It will still be appreciated & then it’s fun to watch him try to pee standing 4 feet away from the toilet, trying to get the perfect arc going!
Tl;dr: Have a bunch of sex really often & don’t worry about the end result. The end result will take care of itself.