Outcome Independence

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I know that this is a basic mindset used in picking up girls, but sometimes in married life you would be well off using outcome independence as a sexual tool. For instance, you don’t have to work up to a big sex session, which is incredible – don’t get me wrong, but maybe you just snuggle nude & see what happens. Maybe something happens; maybe not. Okay, something always happens 🙂

Outcome independence is: if both of you orgasm, Super Awesome; if only one of you has an orgasm, Great; if neither of you cums, it was still a helluva lot of fun!

OI means that if one or the other just isn’t really feeling it or is too stressed you can stop & there will be no hurt feelings on either side. OI means you can try again later. OI means you have sex often because you are often trying again later. OI means that there is no pressure if you just stick it in & move it around a little. I guarantee that if you practice OI, you will actually experience more orgasms.

I think that sometimes women’s hesitation in having sex is that maybe sex is usually a full-blown hours-long affair with pressure to orgasm, bodily juices squirting everywhere, messed up makeup & hair. I mean, that is fantastic & all, but maybe sometimes she just wants a fun little quickie. Maybe she just wants to do it & then go shopping or something. Maybe she doesn’t want to muss her hair.

OI is helpful as you get older, too. Sometimes things don’t work as well once you’re past your prime. Everyone has more aches & pains, it’s harder to move from position to position, that bursitis flares up… Pain is very deflating (heh!); you can be going at it, almost there, almost there, ouch leg cramp! It happens & may even be embarrassing occasionally, but if you practice OI you just pick it up a little bit later. Eventually the job gets done.

Or say you’re contemplating wild drunken monkey sex. I can rarely cum after drinking; does that mean wild drunken monkey sex isn’t fun? Hell no, it is an incredible amount of fun! An incredible amount of orgasmless, spoogeless fun! Do it anyway, take some cranberry gelcaps to ward off the inevitable whiskey-dick UTI, & then sleep like a rock.

When he wakes up with an onerous boner, you may think that your impromptu blowjob won’t result in a payload because of a full bladder, but do it anyway. So what if there is no payload? It will still be appreciated & then it’s fun to watch him try to pee standing 4 feet away from the toilet, trying to get the perfect arc going!

Tl;dr: Have a bunch of sex really often & don’t worry about the end result. The end result will take care of itself.

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8 thoughts on “Outcome Independence

  1. suchagirl2

    So, first I had a lot of belly roll laughing here, but over all I totally agree. I actually got in trouble from Captain (completely deserved) for promising, at the bar before heading home, to give him the best BJ ever and never mind about me! Well, by the time we got our drunken little selves home, the desire was still there, the moment did begin, (we never forgo hot dripping sex in that state, which is what it always is after leaving the bar) but I guess i got fixated on my own orgasm. Bad, bad girl! I did attempt to keep my promise, but damn that last margarita for making me be rather, well, selfish. The result, Captain keeps a closer watch on my alcohol intake and cuts me off, so I never cut him off again!

  2. TempestTcup Post author

    I am totally guilty of that myself, so I do try to surprise him with impromptu BJs. Drunkenness is a funny thing because it makes you crazy horny yet the end results are unpredictable.

    Growing up Catholic, I used to joke that there were so damn many kids born because the Church encourages alcohol consumption yet forbids birth control. A dangerous combination!

    Good to see you here, welcome to my blog!

  3. suchagirl2

    Unpre~dick~table is right! Adventurous is another way i like to look at it. Just let it all go and see what flows. I was very happy one night when Captain told me I am very “cute” when I am drunk. Whewww! Considering what he used to live with for a very long 16 years, I am refreshing to him, but still the triggers happen. So now I ask him to help me be a good girl with my alcohol consumption in order to avoid serious trouble with him. It should be a horny state, not a hindrance one. Cheers!!

  4. M3

    I like this train of thought.

    I could never get my exwife to accept the idea that i could actually enjoy sex without having to orgasm every time.. in fact, i liked having mini sex sessions wherever possible to build up towards a more explosive and meaningful orgasm down the road, whether a few hours or a day or two in the future.

    She assumed every time i didn’t come was because i didn’t find her attractive enough or something.

    Luckily my current gf has no such issue and we discussed it at length. We have a weapons armed/free to engage policy that whenever either of us feels frisky, we let the other know. She enjoys pleasuring me out of the blue, i enjoy going down on her multiple times through the day.

    Our sex drives are almost evenly matched.. her’s is higher than mine. So my tongue gets a good workout. I’m not complaining 😛

    We just enjoy the moments for the sake of the moments. Each round doesn’t require crossing the finish line. We get there when we get there.

  5. rpfw

    We practice this and we both enjoy every sexual contact we make with each other. But sometimes captain gets blue balls from not having the outcome ie cumming and I hate seeing in him in discomfort even though he assures it was worth the pleasure. While I don’t instigate when we might not have time, I never reject his advances even if he might not be able to come but still feel a little guilty/bad that he is in pain from not coming especially when I’m so well pleasured without consequence. I of course have surrendered and follow his lead in our sex lives and he seems happy with it but I just don’t know how to deal with the times he’s in pain. Sometimes the pain gets so bad that we can’t have sex and he’ll just have to sleep it off. This is rare enough to not affect our frequency and overall enjoyment but I hate that he’s in that much pain even though he doesn’t seem to care about it enough to not have outcome independent sex. I try to just keep the good sex in mind but it’s hard to not be affected by his pain in the moment. If I can’t even give him a blow job, I’ll give him a massage until he falls asleep and just concentrate on making him feel as good as possible despite the pain but I’m finding it difficult to deal the fact of contributing to the initial pain. How do I deal with these negative feelings? I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on this matter given your experience and insight in rp relationships.
    Thanks

  6. TempestTcup Post author

    I’ve really never dealt with this problem, and I think I’d probably react the same. It would be confusing and might affect the way I approached sex. I just asked my husband if he ever experienced pain from not cumming, and he never has.

    Would ice help? Like a baggie with ice wrapped in a tea towel or something? That really helps my migraines.

    I guess that if he wants sex, try to prolong foreplay towards him until he’s good and ready in case he wears out easily (sometimes after a long day of hard physical labor my husband isn’t as able to keep up difficult positions for an extended period of time) or something like that?

    Of course, what I do when I have a problem that I can’t figure out on my own, I google it to death, following every link in every article and then try various approaches to a problem until I finally figure it out.

    I wish you the best of luck and I really hope you figure out how to help him with this. This problem would be distressing to me as well.

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