Pull My Hair


There I was innocently doing some last minute research for a different post & I accidentally learned something about myself. The post was going to be a “science of sex” type post & I was searching for why it feels so good to have your hair pulled (the NSA agent they have assigned to me was VERY amused!). Anyway this whole post is a big old ball of TMI, so here goes.

Wandering around the manosphere, I come across posts about hair pulling a lot, but no one really has it figured out. They attribute it to dominance & the sexy sexy strength of a man (& yes, that is a major turn on), or pain equals pleasure, but it is much more than that.There are actual tingles involved & sometimes even goosebumps.

Say I come home from work & my husband grabs me for the 10 second kiss; he pins me against the doorjamb & slowly runs his fingers against the back of my neck to gently grab a handful of hair. The tingles start there & spread outward. It’s like they wash across me & run down my spine & I kind of get weak in the knees.

It’s like that weird sensation you get as someone pretends to break an egg on your head or the one when someone shampoos your hair. It’s like scratching your scalp when you are on speed (what, it was the 70s!) or a mild version of the sensation (we called them Little Girl Orgasms or LGOs) you get when on MDMA (what, it was legal in the 80s!).

There are a lot of nerve endings back there, but I think it is more than just that. I was searching to find the actual chemical mechanism behind the tingles & basically couldn’t find one. No one has done research on this, or if they have it’s completely obscure.

During my research, I found this: Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR). There is an entire category of videos devoted to this response. I am mildly triggered by some of these videos & the sensation is similar to the sensation when my hair is pulled except the sensation is inside my head.

ASMR is triggered by light repetitive noises: paper crinkling, monotone droning, whispering, Bob Ross, etc. It is kind of a tingling that starts in your brain & washes down your spine, like little explosions & it is very relaxing. It’s funny because writing this is kind of making me feel all tingly πŸ™‚

They say that not everyone gets this sensation, but I would be willing to bet that everyone has ASMR to a certain extent or it wouldn’t be so prevalent in the culture of love. Think about heavy breathing, blowing in her ear, whispering sweet nothings. These are all triggers for ASMR.

I also think that spanking stimulates the same response, especially light rhythmic spanking.Β  Not that that one loud hard swat isn’t pleasurable, but it elicits a different sensation. Of course, there are a lot of nerve endings in your gluteus maximus, like in the back of your neck, so I think that helps.

I mentioned this subject to my husband & his response was that it all harkens back to the cavemen dragging their women by the hair & their butts dragging the ground (lol!) & then he explains why they didn’t drag their women by the ankles; it’s because their pussy would fill up with dirt & gravel. *rimshot*


53 thoughts on “Pull My Hair

  1. Pingback: Pull My Hair | Viva La Manosphere!

  2. earl

    “I was searching to find the actual chemical mechanism behind the tingles & basically couldn’t find one.”

    It’s called testosterone.

    Now keep the bragging about your tingles to yourself.

  3. TempestTcup Post author

    Testosterone is a powerful thing, but I think there has to be some endorphins (or something) firing too.

    And sorry about the bragging, lol!

  4. Stingray

    Something tangential I’ve noticed, since letting go of control I am surprised at how much I enjoy things like this that I never would have before.

  5. earl

    What do you think fires the endorphins?

    That’s why you should be careful with messing with a lot of matches…you will get burned.

  6. suchagirl2

    Here you are again, hitting a topic so on target for me right now. The Captain and I were out to dinner and stopped at our favorite little bar to wrap up the night last night. We were several cocktails in, which always leads to heavy flirting and foreplay, when the P.D.A. began with somewhat discreet spankings. It was followed by lots of, “when we get home…”

    Before we left, the subject of hair came up. He mentioned not caring much for short hair, just as I said I miss how much longer mine used to be, pointing to the middle of my back. His reply, “Let’s get it there.” Now I am on a mission to see if my lengthy mane I sported 15 years ago, can return with help of vitamins. I take great care of it, but age and health has created a hindrance. I too am very motivated by the sensation I get when he pulls my hair for that hard kiss or is riding me from behind and uses it to pull me up and push me back down. Any one who has yet to experience this high intensity sensation, has yet to truly let go!

    Thanks for sharing your research. It is fascinating to know that part, but it is also nice to just say spank me, pull my hair, fuck me hard and not care why other than it just feels grrrrrreat!

  7. Stingray

    It is. It’s almost like we’re supposed to be this way! πŸ˜‰

    Seriously, it is kind of weird. I wonder if this is one of the reasons that women often say they are more sexual starting in their mid 30’s?

  8. TempestTcup

    My hair used to be pretty wimpy (I’m old) & then I started doing a lot of bone broths & started taking gelatin & biotin. It’s so much better, long & thick & my nails are better, but I still can’t wear nail polish 😦

  9. suchagirl2

    Hmmm…I’ve heard, and forgotten about gelatin. Thanks for the reminder! However, I’ve not heard of biotin. I will check it out. I am on a mission here~ LOL

  10. suchagirl2

    You said it! It’s letting go, submitting, admitting and embracing one’s sexual self. Of course it takes the right commander to pull it all out!

  11. suchagirl2

    Google search says, “Biotin is a naturally occurring B-vitamin (vitamin B7). Sometimes it’s called vitamin H or co-enzyme R. Doctors usually recommend a starting dosage between 500 and 700 micrograms of biotin per day, and sometimes as high as 1000 micrograms. Because biotin is safe even at very high doses, many people take as much as 5000 micrograms a day”
    Thanks T!

  12. Stingray


    I just figured out how to wear nail polish and I was going to do a short post about it. Why can’t you wear it?

  13. Dr. Faust

    I often watch ASMR videos to relax and fall asleep. That and some of the girls that make them are really beautiful. I’ve noticed the popularity in ASMR has really grown lately. I think part of it is because of the tingles generated but also because of our lack of intimacy in relationships is dwindling with technology and text messaging. There are thousands of ASMR videos on youtube, most of them made by young, attractive females. Judging by the comment section I would guess that young men make up the majority of the viewership.

    One theory I have is of the whispering woman. It connects with the intense desire that men have to bond with their mother in infancy which is actually a greater need than the female infant has. The whispering woman represents a peaceful surrounding, closeness, and intimacy between the boy and mother. One study did a test on subliminal messages. They had screen showing a series of images and then played various messages within the images. They noticed that a man’s heart rate would reduce after they showed the message, “mother and I are one.” The soft whispering of females would likely initiate this response and feelings of safety in men.

    The contrast to this is the shrieking woman. Every man who hears a woman shriek will react bodily to it. If a woman whispering is a lullaby then the women shrieking is an alarm to danger. Notice in an emergency situation you will rarely hear a man shriek or even shout. Men grow very silent during an emergency, blood drains from their face, their skin turns pale, and their body is flooded with adrenaline. The shrieking woman is a call to arms.

    About the hair pulling and spanking thing. They stimulate the same part of the brain which deals with sex. The two are inexorably linked. In females, the most likely response in our evolution would be for her to subdue a violent male by offering sex. The women who were not willing to sleep with a violent male would not survive. This helps explain a lot of the desires women can have for serial killers and criminals. Another theory is that alpha male behavior is a simulation of constrained violence. I’m not implying that alphas are violent only that their behavior represents a sublimated form of violence acceptable in modernity the same way that sports are a form of sublimated warfare.

  14. TempestTcup Post author

    I had never seen an ASMR video before, but I definitely reacted to a couple of them. Then last night my husband was softly snoring & I felt the same reaction of bubbles? tingles? & fell back asleep. I remember thinking “aha!”

    Great comment BTW!

  15. TempestTcup Post author

    Good plan!

    I think the internet really helps spread the word of these obscure things like ASMR, too. I was looking for one thing & found a different thing, but I do think they tie in somehow.

  16. Dr. Faust

    I’ve seen ASMR on political forums, bodybuilding forums, and video game forums. Odd thing, I’ve seen men’s rights on a lot of different type of blogs and forums as well and it usually receives mixed responses. Better than all negative stuff but the word is spreading. If it becomes more popular we might not be such outliers anymore.

    For some reason I want to leave this link here. It’s to a EFT video. I think you might like it.

  17. Just Saying

    “not caring much for short hair”

    I second that… I love women with long hair. I had a discussion with a group of young women not long ago where I said that “a woman’s hair is a sex toy when it comes to it’s uses for a man having sex with her”. Now the funny thing about this discussion was one of the women in the group had hooked up with me a bit before, and had long hair, but didn’t want our relationship known. (I’m much older than she is and the other women in the group were her age.) So she was trying to be discreet but you could see the effect the words and memory was having on her.

    I admit that I was teasing her and enjoyed making her squirm. She came over after ditching all of her girl-friends. Called me a bast*rd for making her horny then leaving her to try to ditch her friends. Since then she has been one of the women that I see regularly – although we are still keeping it one the down-low, primarily due to the opportunities it provides to turn the most innocent of conversations into verbal foreplay.

    Women love the forbidden – and hair-pulling, spanking, and things like being tied up aren’t supposed to turn her on. At least that is what they hear all the time, but they can’t control what actually gets their motor running, any more than a man can. All it takes is the right “scent” or “sound” or “sensation” to trigger a memory and bang. I’m old enough to know that the more of those memories she has with you as the first one that she ever experienced it with, the more she is addicted to you. Sex is the ultimate drug… Once you try it, you are hooked for life and go to any length to get your next fix. And a lot of young women, have only performed the mechanics – rather than enjoying the subtle play that goes deeper into the brain.

    You would be amazed at how many women have never had a man grab a fist-full of her hair and use it to control her when you kiss her. So you control her head with one hand, and pull her tightly against you with the other so she feels all of you against her body and get overloaded with sensation. And if you do that when they can’t pursue it, she’ll be in a state or semi-arousal for hours till she can get to you. Did that at a dinner party when we were in a elevator coming down to dinner. Just a quick kiss and for the rest of the evening, she’s looking at you like you are a bowl of chocolate covered strawberries and she hasn’t eaten in a week…

  18. TempestTcup Post author

    @Just Saying

    My husband does that sometimes & it is so hot. Just pinning me against something, grabbing my hair & kissing me hard & then walking out the door.

  19. Om Sweet Om

    Men like their hair pulled when their women are orgasming and need to grab something, as well as scratches on the back, digging nails in there.

    Its in a similar study and I’m sure lots of readers can confirm through anecdote.

    NOT for the over 50 crowd! Sex is too dangerous for them. LOL.

  20. Om Sweet Om

    “I second that… I love women with long hair. ”

    I’ve always liked long, curlyish hair on men. Like around their ears or shoulders, even longer if they can pull it off. Really handsome men look great with short or long hair, but for the “cute” or “average” guy, long hair or a beard, or long hair and a beard, often makes him look more attractive.

    I think its the same for women. Very beautiful women often look better with short hair because the short hair serves to frame their face and you notice their outstanding facial features more. But with less beautiful women, like the merely pretty, cute or average, long hair adds to their looks and allows you to focus on the hair rather than their more ordinary facial features.

  21. Pingback: June & July Favorites | D A R L I N G

  22. Pingback: Wicked Game | Hipster Racist

  23. Pingback: Filling the Void | Donal Graeme

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