I know a lot of Grass is Always Greener women; I know women who can never find a man good enough for them. I know one perpetually single woman that once broke up with really cute, funny guy because of his handwriting. That’s what she said anyway; the truth was probably something she didn’t want to admit, it was probably closer to he didn’t have money. Of course he didn’t, he was in college.
I see some women going through these scenarios time and time again until they just physically cannot attract a man any longer. Ace had an excellent post comparing these women to animated GIFs:
Animated .gif images creep me the fuck out.
I watch them keep running through the same action.
Over and over and over again.
Since I’m older and I have seen the long-term results of this attitude, I want to warn the younger women against it, but they would never listen. There is too much cheap validation out there that makes them think that they can trade up forever. And they can trade up, but not forever.
The thing is that they rarely trade up. They have a perfectly great guy, but he isn’t exciting enough. He isn’t tall enough or her friends don’t swoon over him. His job isn’t prestigious enough; he didn’t graduate college to start at the top of his field. He’s kind of boring; he’s always studying, he works too many hours. That guy at the bar is exciting, hot and he sends tingles up her spine.
Today’s young women have no idea of the dynamics of relationships in the past; they don’t want to choose a work in progress, they expect their potential mate to already have everything figured out. They don’t want to start out with a young man and work towards a future together, poor but happy. They want it all to start with.
They don’t want to invest in a man. They don’t want to marry the Lieutenant and help him grow to be a General, they want the General now. They want to start their adult life with all of the perks, the house and the vacations. But they don’t want someone old; they want someone young and exciting.
Stingray had a great post, The Advantage of Youth, in which a lot of us married women talked in the comments about how our relationships were in the beginning when both we and our spouses were young. The thing about couples getting together young is that the men not only had potential, but they were full of the excitement of youth:
That’s why I think that young should marry young. Both of them. That way the man will remember his wife as fresh and young and the woman will remember her husband as exciting and on the verge of conquering the world.
Women today have a hundred-point list of requirements for a potential mate. What they don’t realize is the power women have over men. Instead of looking for those hundred points, why not help a man attain those points? You can build a man up or tear him down; why not find a man and be his helpmate and work together with him to make him into the man you want?
Well, for one thing, that sounds like a lot of work. It doesn’t sound very exciting. Who wants to work on a relationship when there are all of those fun nights at the bar with exciting guys chasing you? Society today is an instant gratification one, and people just don’t really think things out for the future.
I don’t have much hope of large amounts of young women ignoring all of the free validation they receive in the way of facebook and other social media, and actually latching onto, for life, a young man with potential. I see young women having relationships and more relationships and maybe oopsie, pregnant with one of them, maybe oopsie with more than one of them. It’s a disposable world with a lot of disposable girls.