Tag Archives: I Love My Husband

Allergies and Gut Flora

Gut Flora

I was reading Free the Animal and Richard had a post which had a section on how taking soil-based probiotics helped his allergies. I have been following his Resistant Starch series from the beginning and had just purchased some soil-based probiotics. I had my husband, who has horrible allergies, try taking one of them a day and a week later, he was off all allergy meds. He hasn’t taken an allergy pill for over 3 days now, and Spring is his worst season. I just wanted to get this out there for any of you who have allergies!

I am crazy busy at work (tons of overtime!) and my husband and I are starting a huge new project out of work, so I don’t have a lot of time to research this further, but go over and see what Richard has to say about it. Sorry I haven’t been around much, but hopefully soon I can start writing all of those posts that I have in my head! 🙂


Corsets & Tight-lacing: A Conversation with Arya Blue (Part 2)


If you waist train, do you think that the corset permanently changes your shape? Like if I started waist training now, do you think I would change the shape I am even after removing the corset? Do you ever wear other support garments, and if you do, how do they compare with corsets?

ABB: Yes. It can absolutely change the shape of a girls body. Several things contribute to this, first and most common is fat displacement. Over time, tightlacing pushes fat deposits to other areas of the body. Most of this fat movement is not permanent and will have to be maintained to keep the inches off. In the beginning, if you’re dedicated, the amount of time wearing a corset will be basically equal to how long the effects lasts. In other words, if you waist train seriously for a year, and stop wearing it, your body will most likely return to it’s original shape gradually over the following year. After years of tight-lacing (continuous or on and off), some of this fat displacement will be permanent. The longer you waist train (years not hours), the longer the inches stay off. Keep in mind it takes at least 6 months before the body will really start to permanently move fat to different fat cells.

Second, is the repositioning of the floating ribs. This is harder to achieve than moving fat but the results are usually permanent. Your lower rib placement makes a huge difference on how well waist training works (especially if you have a small torso). The younger you start, the more permanent the body change. That doesn’t mean it won’t help anyone, of any age, take at least a few inches off their waist.

Best advice I can give on long term or permanent waistline changes —

…how much time (both years and hours) you spend waist training, matters more than how tight it is. Go slow and listen to your body.

I would tell any woman that wants a smaller waist or a flatter stomach to wear some type of waist controller. Anything. If worn tight enough and regularly, it can work to displace a little fat. It also teaches a girl to stand up straight, and suck it in, which along with building abdominal muscles and improving posture, just simply makes her look better. Using store bought, inexpensive waist controllers is the perfect first step to tightlacing. It’s more comfortable, easier to get on and off and starts to prepare your body and mind for the waist training process.

TTC: “Go slow and listen to your body.” Good advice for any sort of change! After getting crushed at Mardi Gras, my abs were sore, hard, and kind of distended for weeks. Using a waist cincher really helped pull them back in and relieve a lot of pressure from movement. They are STILL sore, and I’m hoping that a little bit of waist training (and more squats and kettlebell swings) will put those muscles back to right.

ABB: Exactly! We live in a society of quick conveniences but anyone who has ever produced real change in their life, knows it’s a slow arduous process.

I’ve read a lot of stories about women fighting scoliosis and other back problems with tight-lacing. Waist training/corsetry has always been viewed through a political lens (always). Most information we’ve been fed about tight-lacing from the past is fraudulent feminist propaganda, because of this, and the continued spreading of these myths, it’s almost impossible to know if there are any real health benefits from tight-lacing.


I’m kind of built like a 2×4: long and slender with no waistline, hips or bust; I always have been built that way, and I’m pretty solid. Do you think that a corset would give me a waistline?

ABB: You are not built like a 2×4. I would give a lot to have your long slender legs.
Short answer, yes, if you’re committed and do it right, it will take inches off your waist.
How many inches is the real question?
Wearing a corset, 8 to 12 hours a day for a year, can take 4 to 6 inches off a normal (not obese or rail thin) woman’s waist. But a lot of things influences how many inches will come off: Body type, hours spent wearing it, the fit, how often, how tight, and unfortunately to some extent, age.
**These are my experiences and observations – waist training is very popular with burlesque dancers**

TTC: LOL, I didn’t mean anything bad by the 2×4 comment, but even when I was super skinny (5’9” and 115lbs) graduating high school, I never had a single curve (I’ll try to find a picture in a bikini) and didn’t even have boobs until I was about 35. I have noticed, since I went Paleo/Primal in 2008, that my body has changed shape on its own without any help from me using waist cinchers. I had funky little skinny-fat fat deposits in weird places; they all went away, and I developed breasts and a tiny amount of hips. I think that I could further benefit from a tiny bit of waist training, but I think that extreme tight-lacing might not be a good idea given my *cough* advanced age 🙂


Do you wear corsets under or over your clothes? Do you wear them for decoration, support, or both? How noticeable are corsets when wearing them under clothes for support? Are there different types of fabrics that show them more?

ABB: I’ve worn over, under and only. I like peek-a-boos for under my clothes. These usually have waist cinchers but are structured and embellished at the bust(to peek out). Wearing these, I essentially out myself for wearing a corset and create a sexy “what does she have on under that?” excitement. If burlesque taught me anything, it’s that men like to be visually teased, but leaving some things to the imagination is usually more powerful.

My closet is full of different styles of corsets for different types of occasions. Most of what I own are not true corsets, but the shape is flattering on me. I do have two nice “going out” corsets. These are not appropriate for most events, I only get a chance to wear them a few times a year. My lingerie corsets– I probably have 50 or more of these (lol). I can’t resist buying them. I keep one nice tight lacing corset, just in case. 🙂

There are specific types of corsets to be worn under your clothes. These are great body shapers, tighter than fashion or outer corsets. I think satin is the most comfortable and the least noticeable. Usually, depending on well it fits, you won’t see it through the clothing. Mostly, a corset gives itself away with extreme body shapes, or fat bulging over or under the corset. I also notice the awkward stiff movements it can cause in a novice wearer, but most probably wouldn’t. They can be really flattering with the right tight waisted dress, or if the girl wearing it has the body for it. Many underclothes corsets have garters, which I personally love, it’s my primary reason for wearing one.

What is your favorite thing about wearing corsets?

ABB: A corset forces me to move more deliberately; adds more sensuality to my movements. Walking, bending, taking a seat, eating, even just standing, are all done with a corset inspired feminine grace. Mostly, the process of putting one on, and just wearing it, is in itself, a boost to my femininity. The absolute best part for me…
I feel and look sexier.


Is there anything left that we should discuss that I haven’t asked?

ABB: The only things we didn’t discuss(i think), that we should, is breathing and other health concerns.

It can be difficult to breathe from the lower lobe or the diaphragm when laced in a corset. Some women can’t get passed the feeling of not being able to catch their breath. This just takes practice. It can be done. If an opera soprano can learn to sing while tight-laced, surely we can learn to breathe just doing normal daily things.

In order to see any organ movement from tightlacing a woman must lose at least 30% of her waist measurement. I have no personal experience with that, but I have talked to a few girls that do, it can be painful and have unpredictable consequences. If someone is going to take waist training this far, she needs a support community and/or a doctor that understands and supports tightlacing(they do exist).

As for other health concerns, almost every single purposed health risk has been debunked, but do your research before you start lacing. Most important, listen to your body.

I recommend reading this book The Corset: A Cultural History by Valerie Steele
even though it’s written by a fashion historian, it answers a lot of questions about health risks and the truth behind past politics of the corset.

Thank you.


Thank you Arya Blue for answering my questions! I’m completely fascinated by the whole concept and hope to get a real corset in the near future. I did get a cheap one off of Amazon, and it is a lot stronger that I thought it would be. I replaced the wimpy, short ribbon for a five foot grosgrain ribbon and it works pretty well. The corset is way too short though – I’m pretty long.

10 Best Ways to Laugh at Tucker Max

tucker max cat meme


2. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO!!!!!!!!   [Note: Dr Illusion has since make the post private and wrote another post after corresponding with TM.]


4. giggleCLAPgiggleCLAPgiggleCLAPgiggleCLAPgiggle!!!!!!!!

5. ZomgZomgZomgZomgZomgZomgZomgZomgZom!!!!!!!

6. heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!!!!!!!!

7. heh.

8. Yeah, that’s all I got; just wanted to get in on the fun!

9. Bwhahahaha!      <——-Everyone needs to read this – Free Northerner can see the future!

The Mardi Gras Meetup of Mass Destruction


Just as my brain cells were finally starting to recover from The Las Vegas Meetup of Doom, reservations were confirmed for the Mardi Gras Meetup of Mass Destruction! Holy Moly, 6 days and nights in beautiful New Orleans, from Thursday February 27th through Wednesday March 5th.

Mitch got a couple of rooms at the Baymont Inn and Suites just outside Six Flags, which also sounds like a bunch of fun; maybe I’ll go get my roller coaster on. Danny has a balcony for us to hang on for the festivities, and someone mentioned a driver and van to shuttle us to and from the French Quarter.

As far as I know, the people who have confirmed their intention to go are the same as Las Vegas: Mitch, Danny, MANdatory, Dr. Illusion, Mistress, DoktorBill, and me. Then I saw that Matt Forney will also be attending, so that will be awesome! I’d say that if anyone else plans on going, get yourself a room at the Baymont, and get the two queen beds in case someone needs to bunk with you.

The Las Vegas meetup was extraordinary because as I met everyone, the minute we met it was as if I had known them forever. I’ve never had that happen before, but talking to them all, they had the same experience. Hopefully it will be the same when I meet everyone in New Orleans!

Danny’s Announcement

Mitch’s Announcement

Marry the Lieutenant


will-you-marry-meI know a lot of Grass is Always Greener women; I know women who can never find a man good enough for them. I know one perpetually single woman that once broke up with really cute, funny guy because of his handwriting. That’s what she said anyway; the truth was probably something she didn’t want to admit, it was probably closer to he didn’t have money. Of course he didn’t, he was in college.

I see some women going through these scenarios time and time again until they just physically cannot attract a man any longer. Ace had an excellent post comparing these women to animated GIFs:

Animated .gif images creep me the fuck out.
I watch them keep running through the same action.
Over and over and over again.

Since I’m older and I have seen the long-term results of this attitude, I want to warn the younger women against it, but they would never listen. There is too much cheap validation out there that makes them think that they can trade up forever. And they can trade up, but not forever.

The thing is that they rarely trade up. They have a perfectly great guy, but he isn’t exciting enough. He isn’t tall enough or her friends don’t swoon over him. His job isn’t prestigious enough; he didn’t graduate college to start at the top of his field. He’s kind of boring; he’s always studying, he works too many hours. That guy at the bar is exciting, hot and he sends tingles up her spine.

Today’s young women have no idea of the dynamics of relationships in the past; they don’t want to choose a work in progress, they expect their potential mate to already have everything figured out. They don’t want to start out with a young man and work towards a future together, poor but happy. They want it all to start with.

They don’t want to invest in a man. They don’t want to marry the Lieutenant and help him grow to be a General, they want the General now. They want to start their adult life with all of the perks, the house and the vacations. But they don’t want someone old; they want someone young and exciting.

Stingray had a great post, The Advantage of Youth, in which a lot of us married women talked in the comments about how our relationships were in the beginning when both we and our spouses were young. The thing about couples getting together young is that the men not only had potential, but they were full of the excitement of youth:

That’s why I think that young should marry young. Both of them. That way the man will remember his wife as fresh and young and the woman will remember her husband as exciting and on the verge of conquering the world.

Women today have a hundred-point list of requirements for a potential mate. What they don’t realize is the power women have over men. Instead of looking for those hundred points, why not help a man attain those points? You can build a man up or tear him down; why not find a man and be his helpmate and work together with him to make him into the man you want?

Well, for one thing, that sounds like a lot of work. It doesn’t sound very exciting. Who wants to work on a relationship when there are all of those fun nights at the bar with exciting guys chasing you? Society today is an instant gratification one, and people just don’t really think things out for the future.

I don’t have much hope of large amounts of young women ignoring all of the free validation they receive in the way of facebook and other social media, and actually latching onto, for life, a young man with potential. I see young women having relationships and more relationships and maybe oopsie, pregnant with one of them, maybe oopsie with more than one of them. It’s a disposable world with a lot of disposable girls.

I’m Baaaaack!


Well, I’m not sure HOW back I am. I’m pretty bleary from about 4 hours sleep last night and about that much or less from every night I was in Vegas. My IN box is about eight inches tall and I’m writing this in between people coming in to get checks for last week.

Vegas was a lot of fun. I’m having a hard time actually putting a timeline together for the trip; the more people, the less I can keep it all straight. I think I have the events for Sunday – Tuesday nailed down, and Friday is there, but Wednesday and Thursday are confusing! I guess I could always go back and check the #MeetupofDoom to get some clues.

Of course there was a bunch of debauchery, but it wasn’t ALL chasing hookers for blow; we also walked a lot, rode the Deuce every day and even went to the outlet mall!

I’ll try to get back to you later when I’ve whittled my catch-up work down to “overwhelming”, but in the meantime, I would like to thank Mitch, Dr. Illusion, The Mistress, Dannyfrom504, Death to Hamsters, and DoktorBill for the excellent time!

Here’s Danny’s rendition!

And Mitch’s rendition!

Oh wait, here’s Dr. Illusion’s!