Tag Archives: lust

Corsets & Tight-lacing: A Conversation with Arya Blue (Part 2)

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If you waist train, do you think that the corset permanently changes your shape? Like if I started waist training now, do you think I would change the shape I am even after removing the corset? Do you ever wear other support garments, and if you do, how do they compare with corsets?

ABB: Yes. It can absolutely change the shape of a girls body. Several things contribute to this, first and most common is fat displacement. Over time, tightlacing pushes fat deposits to other areas of the body. Most of this fat movement is not permanent and will have to be maintained to keep the inches off. In the beginning, if you’re dedicated, the amount of time wearing a corset will be basically equal to how long the effects lasts. In other words, if you waist train seriously for a year, and stop wearing it, your body will most likely return to it’s original shape gradually over the following year. After years of tight-lacing (continuous or on and off), some of this fat displacement will be permanent. The longer you waist train (years not hours), the longer the inches stay off. Keep in mind it takes at least 6 months before the body will really start to permanently move fat to different fat cells.

Second, is the repositioning of the floating ribs. This is harder to achieve than moving fat but the results are usually permanent. Your lower rib placement makes a huge difference on how well waist training works (especially if you have a small torso). The younger you start, the more permanent the body change. That doesn’t mean it won’t help anyone, of any age, take at least a few inches off their waist.

Best advice I can give on long term or permanent waistline changes —

…how much time (both years and hours) you spend waist training, matters more than how tight it is. Go slow and listen to your body.

I would tell any woman that wants a smaller waist or a flatter stomach to wear some type of waist controller. Anything. If worn tight enough and regularly, it can work to displace a little fat. It also teaches a girl to stand up straight, and suck it in, which along with building abdominal muscles and improving posture, just simply makes her look better. Using store bought, inexpensive waist controllers is the perfect first step to tightlacing. It’s more comfortable, easier to get on and off and starts to prepare your body and mind for the waist training process.

TTC: “Go slow and listen to your body.” Good advice for any sort of change! After getting crushed at Mardi Gras, my abs were sore, hard, and kind of distended for weeks. Using a waist cincher really helped pull them back in and relieve a lot of pressure from movement. They are STILL sore, and I’m hoping that a little bit of waist training (and more squats and kettlebell swings) will put those muscles back to right.

ABB: Exactly! We live in a society of quick conveniences but anyone who has ever produced real change in their life, knows it’s a slow arduous process.

I’ve read a lot of stories about women fighting scoliosis and other back problems with tight-lacing. Waist training/corsetry has always been viewed through a political lens (always). Most information we’ve been fed about tight-lacing from the past is fraudulent feminist propaganda, because of this, and the continued spreading of these myths, it’s almost impossible to know if there are any real health benefits from tight-lacing.

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I’m kind of built like a 2×4: long and slender with no waistline, hips or bust; I always have been built that way, and I’m pretty solid. Do you think that a corset would give me a waistline?

ABB: You are not built like a 2×4. I would give a lot to have your long slender legs.
Short answer, yes, if you’re committed and do it right, it will take inches off your waist.
How many inches is the real question?
Wearing a corset, 8 to 12 hours a day for a year, can take 4 to 6 inches off a normal (not obese or rail thin) woman’s waist. But a lot of things influences how many inches will come off: Body type, hours spent wearing it, the fit, how often, how tight, and unfortunately to some extent, age.
**These are my experiences and observations – waist training is very popular with burlesque dancers**

TTC: LOL, I didn’t mean anything bad by the 2×4 comment, but even when I was super skinny (5’9” and 115lbs) graduating high school, I never had a single curve (I’ll try to find a picture in a bikini) and didn’t even have boobs until I was about 35. I have noticed, since I went Paleo/Primal in 2008, that my body has changed shape on its own without any help from me using waist cinchers. I had funky little skinny-fat fat deposits in weird places; they all went away, and I developed breasts and a tiny amount of hips. I think that I could further benefit from a tiny bit of waist training, but I think that extreme tight-lacing might not be a good idea given my *cough* advanced age 🙂

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Do you wear corsets under or over your clothes? Do you wear them for decoration, support, or both? How noticeable are corsets when wearing them under clothes for support? Are there different types of fabrics that show them more?

ABB: I’ve worn over, under and only. I like peek-a-boos for under my clothes. These usually have waist cinchers but are structured and embellished at the bust(to peek out). Wearing these, I essentially out myself for wearing a corset and create a sexy “what does she have on under that?” excitement. If burlesque taught me anything, it’s that men like to be visually teased, but leaving some things to the imagination is usually more powerful.

My closet is full of different styles of corsets for different types of occasions. Most of what I own are not true corsets, but the shape is flattering on me. I do have two nice “going out” corsets. These are not appropriate for most events, I only get a chance to wear them a few times a year. My lingerie corsets– I probably have 50 or more of these (lol). I can’t resist buying them. I keep one nice tight lacing corset, just in case. 🙂

There are specific types of corsets to be worn under your clothes. These are great body shapers, tighter than fashion or outer corsets. I think satin is the most comfortable and the least noticeable. Usually, depending on well it fits, you won’t see it through the clothing. Mostly, a corset gives itself away with extreme body shapes, or fat bulging over or under the corset. I also notice the awkward stiff movements it can cause in a novice wearer, but most probably wouldn’t. They can be really flattering with the right tight waisted dress, or if the girl wearing it has the body for it. Many underclothes corsets have garters, which I personally love, it’s my primary reason for wearing one.

What is your favorite thing about wearing corsets?

ABB: A corset forces me to move more deliberately; adds more sensuality to my movements. Walking, bending, taking a seat, eating, even just standing, are all done with a corset inspired feminine grace. Mostly, the process of putting one on, and just wearing it, is in itself, a boost to my femininity. The absolute best part for me…
I feel and look sexier.

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Is there anything left that we should discuss that I haven’t asked?

ABB: The only things we didn’t discuss(i think), that we should, is breathing and other health concerns.

It can be difficult to breathe from the lower lobe or the diaphragm when laced in a corset. Some women can’t get passed the feeling of not being able to catch their breath. This just takes practice. It can be done. If an opera soprano can learn to sing while tight-laced, surely we can learn to breathe just doing normal daily things.

In order to see any organ movement from tightlacing a woman must lose at least 30% of her waist measurement. I have no personal experience with that, but I have talked to a few girls that do, it can be painful and have unpredictable consequences. If someone is going to take waist training this far, she needs a support community and/or a doctor that understands and supports tightlacing(they do exist).

As for other health concerns, almost every single purposed health risk has been debunked, but do your research before you start lacing. Most important, listen to your body.

I recommend reading this book The Corset: A Cultural History by Valerie Steele
even though it’s written by a fashion historian, it answers a lot of questions about health risks and the truth behind past politics of the corset.

Thank you.
Arya

 

Thank you Arya Blue for answering my questions! I’m completely fascinated by the whole concept and hope to get a real corset in the near future. I did get a cheap one off of Amazon, and it is a lot stronger that I thought it would be. I replaced the wimpy, short ribbon for a five foot grosgrain ribbon and it works pretty well. The corset is way too short though – I’m pretty long.

Corsets & Tight-lacing: A Conversation with Arya Blue (Part 1)

After finding out that Arya Blue has a lot of experience in corsets and tight-lacing, I asked if she could answer some questions about them for my readers, and luckily she agreed! She even picked out some pictures! The  post ran a little long, so I divided it into 2 posts. Part 2 will be posted Wednesday morning.

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You said that you have been tight-lacing since you were a teen, were you a casual user, like for cosplay or burlesque, or did you waist train?

ABB: How I got started with tight-lacing — I was the first girl in my class to get boobs and a butt, they came all at once too. I felt fat when I wore baggy clothes, boxy. I started to accentuate my small waist with tight clothes or shirts that exposed my midriff. Without my budding(lol) obsession with having a small waist, I probably wouldn’t have even considered tight-lacing.

I spent a lot of time at the library when I was younger (a lot!). The summer I turned 14, I was just starting to get into historical victorian romance (almost erotica; heavy on romance with lots of sex euphemisms). These were horribly written, predictable garbage, middle age women take on vacation type books, but several of them discussed tightlacing. It was enough to spark my curiosity in waist training. That summer, I read everything I could find on the subject of corsets/waist training.

I started with ace bandages, cheap and easy. I would suck in my stomach, wrap myself as tight as I could and sleep that way. I did this, almost every night for a year. It took me a few months of practice before I could get it tight enough, so it wouldn’t slip while I slept. Sometimes, I even got up in the night and would re-wrap myself (I’m such a weirdo -lol). Eventually, I cut up several bandages, sewed them together, and put laces into it. It was really ugly. I saw noticeable changes within the first few months, and this kept me doing it. Since my body was still developing, there is no way to know how much of a difference wrapping myself made, but I personally believe it worked. I gave it up when I started seeing spots and experiencing blurry vision. I found out years later that this was because I was putting too much pressure on my abdominal area, not allowing for enough blood flow. This is a common problem with tightlacing.

Another thing to watch for is shooting pains in the legs. This is caused by too much pressure on the nerves above the tailbone(the sacrum). In both cases, it is your body telling you it’s too tight, loosen the corset. Always listen to your body.

TTC: Oh, that’s funny, when I was a kid I straightened my teeth using white dental floss and it worked; my teeth have been straight ever since! I wrapped behind teeth I wanted to pull forward and in front of teeth I wanted to pull back; it’s so hilarious how kids think and how they can work around financial and other concerns.

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You have a nice waist to hip ratio; do you think that has anything to do with wearing corsets, or is it purely from a lot of good work watching your diet and working out?

ABB: Thank you. 🙂 It is primarily my body type (good genetics). I’ve always had an hourglass figure, and since puberty I’ve been doing everything I can to keep it and show it off. Being only 5.1, I have to watch what I eat, not obsessively, but it’s certainly a part of it. Exercise is a big part of it too. I do a lot of specific exercises to keep a small waist (yoga, bends, leg lifts, hula hoop).

Tightlacing has worked for me and taken permanent inches off my waistline. Mostly, it’s allowed me to move and keep my fat deposits in more appealing places than my tummy. Tight-lacing is basically the diet and exercise of the past. It’s what women used before they had diet and exercise to mold their bodies. With that said, I’ve seen girls that waist train and don’t eat healthy or exercise, most end up with problem areas that are difficult to disguise (like a huge, misshapen butt). Waist training is not a quick fix, it’s uncomfortable and it takes time. If a girl is going to put the effort in to properly train her waist, she should be doing other things to maintain it too.

TTC: When I noticed that I formed permanent fat deposits above the waist of my jeans (a mini-muffintop, LOL) about a decade ago (after quitting smoking and gaining weight 5 years previous), I started using one of those rubber workout belts you wrap around your waist and sweat, but I wore it overnight for a couple of months, and that worked pretty well. It eventually broke and I didn’t replace it until recently. That was immediately what I thought of when I heard of waist training. I should probably take up the hula hoop though! That looks like an excellent and fun workout.

ABB: Hoops are popular dancing props in Burlesque. I read somewhere that burlesque is responsible for renewing interest hula hoops. An entire community now exists of hippie Jam band devotees doing crazy tricks with them. My cousin is a professional “hooper” (not even joking — I have another cousin who is a professional frisbee golfer. lol “Do want you love” means a lot in my family). I had her teach me a few of her tricks. It isn’t just moving it around your waist, although that is the best waist reducing exercise, but using your entire body for a difficult and creative workout. I highly encourage women to try it. Plus, it has the added advantage of making you feel silly and youthful, like jumping double dutch or doing extreme hopscotch. 🙂

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Were your first corsets the expensive custom ones, or did you ever buy and use any of the cheap ones off of the internet or from the mall?

ABB: After the ace bandages, I spent the rest of my teen years wearing lots of corsets and corset dresses. I was a bit odd and eccentric. 🙂 My mom taught me to sew growing up (she could make anything). I made most of my own clothes, including corsets. These were not waist training corsets, just fashion.

I didn’t do any proper waist training, until I started professionally dancing burlesque(19). On my second day (ever) of rehearsal, the director asked me if I had ever done any corset training. He informed me that I needed to learn to breathe and dance properly in a fitted corset (achieving a smaller waist was just a bonus). He recommended I have one made, and start sleeping in it. Another dancer(Nanette-mmmm), an experienced waist trainer, helped me fit it and make the corset. This was not a ‘wear out’ type of corset. It was an underbust, made from four layers of satin and was double boned steel, this was extreme waist training. I hated wearing it but enjoyed the shape it gave my body. I spent a year cheating (not wearing it as often, as long, or as tight, as I should), still it took at least 4 inches off my waist. I really didn’t want my waist any smaller, so for the most part I stopped tight-lacing.

In the years since, I only go back to waist training if I see any gain. Most notably, after I had my son. I had a difficult pregnancy, and spent almost 5 months on bed rest. I couldn’t exercise, and gained more weight than I wanted. I spent the first year, after having him, going through the early steps of waist training. I started by wearing spanx type trainers, within a few weeks of giving birth, and moved slowly back into my waist training corset. Tight-lacing helped me quickly get my body back in shape, but keep in mind, I breastfed for almost 2 years (burns calories and reduces belly swelling), worked out and ate healthy.

TTC: LOL, I was a bit odd and eccentric, too; my little sister and I collected and wore vintage clothes in the 1970s and early 1980s. There I’d be at some punk show wearing a pillbox hat, a froofy dress, stilettos and white cotton gloves. I also made a lot of my own clothes and have used a sewing machine ever since I was big enough to sneak into my parents’ room and use my mom’s machine to sew doll clothes. I thought about sewing my own corset, but the task seems daunting!

ABB: It’s difficult to make a tight-lacing corset. This is a garment you will wear (if truly waist training) for thousands of hours in a single year. It needs to be fitted and constructed correctly, or it will be unbearably uncomfortable. I have all kinds of advice on patterns and techniques I’ve learned along the way(that’s a post by itself). With the internet, information is so accessible, you shouldn’t have any problem finding resources to help you.
Useful websites:
Fran’s Writings on Corsetry and Tightlacing
Lucy’s Corsetry
Waisted Couture Corsetry

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Have you ever bought a corset that was professionally fitted?

ABB: Yes. Twice, both were made while I was still dancing burlesque and were part of stage costumes. My director loved to put me in ‘straight-jackets’’ (as he liked to all them). It’s a dramatic look for burlesque but it was incredibly difficult to retrain my movements and more importantly my breath control, while cinched in.

If someone is serious about waist training, they should have corset professionally fitted. They’re expensive($300 and up) and as you lose inches you have to have new ones made. It really adds up, but it’s the safest and most effective way to waist train. If you have tailoring and sewing skills, you can learn to make them yourself. It’s time consuming, and complicated (at first) but it’s much cheaper. Waist trainers don’t have to be pretty, but the do need to fit properly. I can’t stress enough how important the fit of a corset is, in relation to proper waist training. The general rule is to start with a corset that is 3 or 4 inches smaller than your waist. As your waist shrinks, so should your corset.

The best tight-lacing corsets are made from silk brocade (strong woven fabric). They must have steel boning, preferably double (twice as thick) steel bone. Look for ones with all spiral steel boning or at least some. It needs multiple layers of cloth, and extremely durable stitching. To prevent chafing from the laces, I recommend modesty panels. Make sure you take measurements from: your bust (if an over the bust type), under the breast, the waist, hips and the length between the bust and the hips.

Come back on Wednesday for the rest of the conversation!

 

The Making of an Alpha Widow

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There have been a few really good posts on RPW about slutting around, pair bonding, losing virginity and Alpha Widows. Dana and I were having a conversation about it on the IRC yesterday morning, and I think that we are right about our views on the making of an Alpha Widow. It’s not how many partners she’s had, it’s the depth of emotion she has had with a partner or many partners; after all memories are emotionally driven and even more so in women.

It’s not from one night stands and having a lot of casual sex (although why a woman would want public access to such a private space is beyond my comprehension). ONS and casual sex are done without much emotion, and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of emotional baggage that goes along with it.

It’s also not from having serial monogamy where after a couple of years the man breaks up with the woman, and she is relieved. Both parties are pretty ready to move on by this point and the relationship has run its course. There isn’t much emotional baggage that comes with this one either.

Even losing her virginity doesn’t seem to make a woman pine for her deflowerer. When the subject came up, none of the RPW still had strong feelings for their first except for the ones who are still with them. Back in the day, women generally were with their first sex experience until death do they part, so they might have been able to sustain those feelings.

Dana and I both think that the Alpha Widow is caused by very strong feelings associated with sex and the breakup. These strong feelings might come from a woman being infatuated with a guy for a while and then finally having sex with her infatuation. If this leads to a longer relationship, she has other memories of him and if the relationship putters out, no Alpha Widow is made.

But, if a man and woman start dating and she develops strong feelings for him, and then at the height of her emotions towards him, he dumps her or quits talking to her, this is what creates an Alpha Widow: The one who got away.

It has to be during a period where there is lots of sex with all of the resulting bonding chemical reactions to really mess her up. One interesting thing I learned on the MMSL forum is that women have a basic response to the chemicals of sex. Almost to a woman, we all had the same cycle of emotions in the week after sex.

The pattern looks roughly like this: Sex Day —-> Green —-> Greener —-> Greenest —-> Yellow —-> Red (pouty/demanding). After red comes acceptance that sex will not occur and a reduction in the need for sex. So, husbands out there, don’t let it go beyond 3 or 4 days between wife servicing!

If a couple are just starting to get into a relationship hot and heavy and there is a lot of sex involved, that’s when, if the guy loses interest or quits talking to her, it will be at its most devastating. With all of the chemicals in her body, all the hot sex, and just as she is letting herself succumb fully to the emotions, if it is broken off she will be emotionally bereft.

The more emotions she felt during the short relationship, means the more emotions felt during the breakup period, which means the more emotions she will feel when remembering the encounter. This is what makes the Alpha Widow and what makes her unable to properly pair bond. She will constantly be looking for that elusive emotional high that she felt with him.

The next time she has feeling for a man, she will need those emotions to go higher than ever before to make the new man the new emotional high water mark and make her bond to him. This is why the PUA techniques are so effective: they make the woman feel higher emotions with all of the negging and attention, the pushing and pulling, the bouncing and dread game. There is a high level of excitement with game.

Whereas I do believe that PUAs are creating a lot of Alpha Widows, I also believe that if you can make a woman feel those incredible highs and lows early on in a relationship, in accordance with all of the bonding chemicals of sex, you can become the exciting alpha that she ultimately bonds to.

You can become her new emotional high water mark and therefore cause yourself to replace the alpha she was widowed to. There have to be emotional highs and lows: a veritable roller-coaster of emotions. She needs the soaring highs and the depths of despair to make her bond fully if she is an Alpha Widow.

Sure, it would be great to stumble upon a nice fresh-faced woman with no previous experience or emotional distress, but these days of sex with and without relationships, it might be good insurance against the possibility of her inability to pair bond. This all sounds like a pain in the butt, but if it could possibly save a world of hurt in the future, it might all be worth it.

Also, women shouldn’t give men advice about women, so YMMV 😀

The Slut Mindset

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At Dannyfrom504‘s site Spacetraveller made a comment:

We are here in solidarity because we all realise that certain sections of society are being trampled under (i.e.men).

To which I responded that “Team Woman is Anti Male by definition.”
And then she asked:

Interesting! But I wonder, is this a natural phenomenon or is it a learned response by women who have been repeatedly burned by men?

Surely it cannot be a natural instinct in women, to hate men. Given that (in a primordial way), women ‘s survival rests on men. So what I am saying is that, if Team Woman is anti-male, it must be a cultural thing and not part of female nature.

Anyone else have any thoughts on this?

My response to that was :

I think that if women are repeatedly burned by men (pump & dump?) it might be because they have a covert contract with the guy where if they have sex with him he will be their boyfriend. The guy has no clue about it and might not go along with it anyway. So, it ends up being the guy’s fault for not keeping up his end of the contract he didn’t sign. To get over the hurt of the P&D, the women decide that they didn’t want him anyway; they were just using HIM for sex. Yeah! Big Strong Powerful Woman!!!! Fuck all men!!!

Wow, did I just psychoanalyze the slut mindset? LOL!

So, what do you think? Is a lot of feminism’s anti-male mindset derived from the broken covert contracts? Is it all just self-interest?

Sometimes I Crack Myself Up

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Hahahahahahahaha!

The lore is that when you have sex above your grade, you have difficulty having sex below what you are used to. The problem is that you can have sex with guys that are much hotter than the ones that will actually have a relationship with you.

So, when you settle for the beta provider in your last chance baby rabies need to get pregnant & have some poor sucker foot the bill, you are still thinking about all of those guys in your past that lowered their standards to have sex with you.

After the children are in school & you get bored & unhaaaaappy, you frivorce the poor guy & take his children thinking that you can get some millionaire handy-man to pull your hair.

Problem is that you will end up alone except for all of your cats that will eat you when you die.

 

Pull My Hair

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There I was innocently doing some last minute research for a different post & I accidentally learned something about myself. The post was going to be a “science of sex” type post & I was searching for why it feels so good to have your hair pulled (the NSA agent they have assigned to me was VERY amused!). Anyway this whole post is a big old ball of TMI, so here goes.

Wandering around the manosphere, I come across posts about hair pulling a lot, but no one really has it figured out. They attribute it to dominance & the sexy sexy strength of a man (& yes, that is a major turn on), or pain equals pleasure, but it is much more than that.There are actual tingles involved & sometimes even goosebumps.

Say I come home from work & my husband grabs me for the 10 second kiss; he pins me against the doorjamb & slowly runs his fingers against the back of my neck to gently grab a handful of hair. The tingles start there & spread outward. It’s like they wash across me & run down my spine & I kind of get weak in the knees.

It’s like that weird sensation you get as someone pretends to break an egg on your head or the one when someone shampoos your hair. It’s like scratching your scalp when you are on speed (what, it was the 70s!) or a mild version of the sensation (we called them Little Girl Orgasms or LGOs) you get when on MDMA (what, it was legal in the 80s!).

There are a lot of nerve endings back there, but I think it is more than just that. I was searching to find the actual chemical mechanism behind the tingles & basically couldn’t find one. No one has done research on this, or if they have it’s completely obscure.

During my research, I found this: Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR). There is an entire category of videos devoted to this response. I am mildly triggered by some of these videos & the sensation is similar to the sensation when my hair is pulled except the sensation is inside my head.

ASMR is triggered by light repetitive noises: paper crinkling, monotone droning, whispering, Bob Ross, etc. It is kind of a tingling that starts in your brain & washes down your spine, like little explosions & it is very relaxing. It’s funny because writing this is kind of making me feel all tingly 🙂

They say that not everyone gets this sensation, but I would be willing to bet that everyone has ASMR to a certain extent or it wouldn’t be so prevalent in the culture of love. Think about heavy breathing, blowing in her ear, whispering sweet nothings. These are all triggers for ASMR.

I also think that spanking stimulates the same response, especially light rhythmic spanking.  Not that that one loud hard swat isn’t pleasurable, but it elicits a different sensation. Of course, there are a lot of nerve endings in your gluteus maximus, like in the back of your neck, so I think that helps.

I mentioned this subject to my husband & his response was that it all harkens back to the cavemen dragging their women by the hair & their butts dragging the ground (lol!) & then he explains why they didn’t drag their women by the ankles; it’s because their pussy would fill up with dirt & gravel. *rimshot*

Outcome Independence

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I know that this is a basic mindset used in picking up girls, but sometimes in married life you would be well off using outcome independence as a sexual tool. For instance, you don’t have to work up to a big sex session, which is incredible – don’t get me wrong, but maybe you just snuggle nude & see what happens. Maybe something happens; maybe not. Okay, something always happens 🙂

Outcome independence is: if both of you orgasm, Super Awesome; if only one of you has an orgasm, Great; if neither of you cums, it was still a helluva lot of fun!

OI means that if one or the other just isn’t really feeling it or is too stressed you can stop & there will be no hurt feelings on either side. OI means you can try again later. OI means you have sex often because you are often trying again later. OI means that there is no pressure if you just stick it in & move it around a little. I guarantee that if you practice OI, you will actually experience more orgasms.

I think that sometimes women’s hesitation in having sex is that maybe sex is usually a full-blown hours-long affair with pressure to orgasm, bodily juices squirting everywhere, messed up makeup & hair. I mean, that is fantastic & all, but maybe sometimes she just wants a fun little quickie. Maybe she just wants to do it & then go shopping or something. Maybe she doesn’t want to muss her hair.

OI is helpful as you get older, too. Sometimes things don’t work as well once you’re past your prime. Everyone has more aches & pains, it’s harder to move from position to position, that bursitis flares up… Pain is very deflating (heh!); you can be going at it, almost there, almost there, ouch leg cramp! It happens & may even be embarrassing occasionally, but if you practice OI you just pick it up a little bit later. Eventually the job gets done.

Or say you’re contemplating wild drunken monkey sex. I can rarely cum after drinking; does that mean wild drunken monkey sex isn’t fun? Hell no, it is an incredible amount of fun! An incredible amount of orgasmless, spoogeless fun! Do it anyway, take some cranberry gelcaps to ward off the inevitable whiskey-dick UTI, & then sleep like a rock.

When he wakes up with an onerous boner, you may think that your impromptu blowjob won’t result in a payload because of a full bladder, but do it anyway. So what if there is no payload? It will still be appreciated & then it’s fun to watch him try to pee standing 4 feet away from the toilet, trying to get the perfect arc going!

Tl;dr: Have a bunch of sex really often & don’t worry about the end result. The end result will take care of itself.