Tag Archives: red pill

The Making of an Alpha Widow

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There have been a few really good posts on RPW about slutting around, pair bonding, losing virginity and Alpha Widows. Dana and I were having a conversation about it on the IRC yesterday morning, and I think that we are right about our views on the making of an Alpha Widow. It’s not how many partners she’s had, it’s the depth of emotion she has had with a partner or many partners; after all memories are emotionally driven and even more so in women.

It’s not from one night stands and having a lot of casual sex (although why a woman would want public access to such a private space is beyond my comprehension). ONS and casual sex are done without much emotion, and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of emotional baggage that goes along with it.

It’s also not from having serial monogamy where after a couple of years the man breaks up with the woman, and she is relieved. Both parties are pretty ready to move on by this point and the relationship has run its course. There isn’t much emotional baggage that comes with this one either.

Even losing her virginity doesn’t seem to make a woman pine for her deflowerer. When the subject came up, none of the RPW still had strong feelings for their first except for the ones who are still with them. Back in the day, women generally were with their first sex experience until death do they part, so they might have been able to sustain those feelings.

Dana and I both think that the Alpha Widow is caused by very strong feelings associated with sex and the breakup. These strong feelings might come from a woman being infatuated with a guy for a while and then finally having sex with her infatuation. If this leads to a longer relationship, she has other memories of him and if the relationship putters out, no Alpha Widow is made.

But, if a man and woman start dating and she develops strong feelings for him, and then at the height of her emotions towards him, he dumps her or quits talking to her, this is what creates an Alpha Widow: The one who got away.

It has to be during a period where there is lots of sex with all of the resulting bonding chemical reactions to really mess her up. One interesting thing I learned on the MMSL forum is that women have a basic response to the chemicals of sex. Almost to a woman, we all had the same cycle of emotions in the week after sex.

The pattern looks roughly like this: Sex Day —-> Green —-> Greener —-> Greenest —-> Yellow —-> Red (pouty/demanding). After red comes acceptance that sex will not occur and a reduction in the need for sex. So, husbands out there, don’t let it go beyond 3 or 4 days between wife servicing!

If a couple are just starting to get into a relationship hot and heavy and there is a lot of sex involved, that’s when, if the guy loses interest or quits talking to her, it will be at its most devastating. With all of the chemicals in her body, all the hot sex, and just as she is letting herself succumb fully to the emotions, if it is broken off she will be emotionally bereft.

The more emotions she felt during the short relationship, means the more emotions felt during the breakup period, which means the more emotions she will feel when remembering the encounter. This is what makes the Alpha Widow and what makes her unable to properly pair bond. She will constantly be looking for that elusive emotional high that she felt with him.

The next time she has feeling for a man, she will need those emotions to go higher than ever before to make the new man the new emotional high water mark and make her bond to him. This is why the PUA techniques are so effective: they make the woman feel higher emotions with all of the negging and attention, the pushing and pulling, the bouncing and dread game. There is a high level of excitement with game.

Whereas I do believe that PUAs are creating a lot of Alpha Widows, I also believe that if you can make a woman feel those incredible highs and lows early on in a relationship, in accordance with all of the bonding chemicals of sex, you can become the exciting alpha that she ultimately bonds to.

You can become her new emotional high water mark and therefore cause yourself to replace the alpha she was widowed to. There have to be emotional highs and lows: a veritable roller-coaster of emotions. She needs the soaring highs and the depths of despair to make her bond fully if she is an Alpha Widow.

Sure, it would be great to stumble upon a nice fresh-faced woman with no previous experience or emotional distress, but these days of sex with and without relationships, it might be good insurance against the possibility of her inability to pair bond. This all sounds like a pain in the butt, but if it could possibly save a world of hurt in the future, it might all be worth it.

Also, women shouldn’t give men advice about women, so YMMV 😀

Love Me for Me


Lately at RPW subreddit we have been getting a real influx of Love Me for Me girls. Girls who think that being pleasant is living a lie.

“And how is it fair to anyone, if they aren’t seeing the real me?”

“The chances of finding someone who both wants me and can handle me, is slim to none.”

“I figured that he would deserve to know what he was getting into. So everything on the table at the beginning would be the best idea.”

“Instead of telling me to change, explain to me WHY these qualities don’t attract good men.”

It’s not like I’m hunting these girls down and giving them unsolicited advice, these young women came to us asking for advice. It is annoying though because they have found red pill sites, and they want a RP man, but they don’t want to change their bad habits to actually attract one. What they really want is for RP men to change their attraction cues.

They come to us and ask what they can do to attract a RP man and then they argue with everything we say. But they like the tacklebox on their face; they wouldn’t be true to their nature if they weren’t a battleaxe. They KNOW that their appearance, personality and actions drive good men away, but they refuse to change any of these things and instead bemoan that high value men aren’t tripping over themselves to come sweep them off their feet.


There is a ton of good advice from a lot of people, but these young women argue with every piece of it. There are women who have been married for a long time and RP men who know what they want saying the same things to these girls. They have been born and raised on the You Go Grrrrl!! attitude since birth and nothing will sway them from this path.

They know what they have to do to attract a quality man, but they refuse to do it, yet here they are asking for our input. They have all had bad relationships with men because their actions drive off the good ones. They refuse to acknowledge the fact that quality men have options and don’t want to handle a difficult woman.

Dana is excellent as always and really gets to the nut of the problem. Sometimes it is like banging my head against a brick wall and complaining that my head hurts, and sometimes these girls absolutely break my heart, but I’m only showing you the cautionary tales. Some young women come to RPW and learn and try and make their relationships better. Thank goodness 🙂

The Front Lines


It seems like the whole manosphere/red pill spectrum has been on the front lines lately with the huge RoK blowup and Matt Forney’s death threats, but I have also been locked in battle with the forces of darkness and evil. I have also been locking horns with the she-beasts of feminism.

I know that it is easy to forget about the soldiers on the front lines while you are comfy and cozy on your couch in your ivory tower, but never fear, we are there mucking through the detritus to keep the ‘sphere safe and unmolested. Our battles are small yet important.

As a woman with RP leanings, writing is last on my list of priorities after husband, home and work, and I can only write saying to stay thin, grow your hair, look pretty, be sweet, feed your man and be very enthusiastic in bed so many times before it gets repetitive, so I go slog around in the cesspool that is reddit.

I know, it’s my own fault for sullying myself in the trenches, but there’s a front line to defend and I can’t leave my sisters at arms to do the task on their own. Lately though, the enemy has been renewing their efforts to mock and ridicule the RPW way of life, and our side is woefully under womanned.

Recently, the enemy has stricken something close to my heart: my Olive Dip Recipe. They mocked and ridiculed and declared my recipe unfit for using inexpensive ingredients that can be kept on hand in case of a party emergency. But what if the party is tomorrow? What if you don’t have time to go to the store? What if you only want to spend a couple of dollars on a dip that will be eaten with tortilla chips?

If I were as awesome as all the little feminist student girls I would have gone straight to Spain to pick the freshest olives and lovingly grown the most succulent tomatoes in my garden for the freshest tapenade. Or as one of those kids said, “I’ll go get some proper tapenade!” because restaurants NEVER use canned anything for everything.

So they had their fun with me, but then they also have been downvoting Dana’s quilts, and that is really crossing the line. And their ringleader says nasty things to her like, “Also I just wanted to say what an utter piece of shit you are[1] . I sincerely hope your husband is much, much older than you and he dies decades before you, leaving you bereft of any human contact due to your failure to have any real friends, so you are alone and miserable for years.”

Luckily, we women of RPW have a new weapon in our arsenal; we were able to regroup in the RPW IRC and discuss our strategy. Of course, our strategy is pretty much limited to pouting and stomping our little feet, but at least we have that defense.

So, as you enjoy your peace and your nice long conversations, please remember the soldiers in the trenches making the ‘sphere a safer place to be. You are welcome!

A Little Hope


Danabanana9 did a really cool thing on the RedPillWoman subreddit; she called out all the lurkers. We are a super tiny subreddit that is heavily trolled and has a banned list of about 600 strong. But when she called out the lurkers it was so heartening.

[–]MetaMomma 8 points 2 days ago (11|3)

Semi-lurker. I’m a housewife and mother. I enjoy a lot of the redpill material, specifically Athol Kay’s stuff.

It’s all pretty relevant to the way my husband and I already behave in our relationship. I read the posts here for validation, because I get a lot of grief about of relationship from people in my family. When I come here and read the threads, I know that I’m not the only “First Officer” in the world.

[–]Codeegirl 8 points 2 days ago (10|2)

Semi new semi lurker. I’m very independent and firmly believe that I need an equal in a relationship. Came across trp and got curious. I’m realizing how different men and women really are. Equal as far as value, just different. Also noticing that I appreciate my SO’s maleness. I’m finding that both subreddits are helping me to understand him a lot better, therefore I’m happier at home . Very glad that there’s a place for us to talk about trp. Typical female trait, a lot of communicating 😉

[–]frickthis 5 points 2 days ago (6|1)

Another lurker here, my thought process is similar. I’m single at the moment, and I believe that my previous inability to do anything nice for my ex is a big reason why. I felt kind of trained against cooking and cleaning and being feminine. It’s all very extremist and confusing. I do enjoy reading things from this perspective.

[–]pinkantlers 5 points 2 days ago (6|1)

Hi! Another lurker here. I’m very new to RPW, just trying to figure out whether it’s for me and my relationship. I’m in my mid 20s, just graduated university, and in a long term co-habiting relationship of just over 2 years. Like a lot of ladies in this thread it seems I am a feminist in the general sense, and I do believe in a lot of feminist ideals. However, I feel like feminism really fails women because it seems to focus on an idealised world that doesn’t exist, and tells women ‘you should be able to do whatever you want’. We all know that this just isn’t the reality, and basically that’s what lead me to RPW. In terms of my relationship, I was already all about respecting my man and complimenting, rather than competing with each other. I love him and like him enormously, he’s the no.1 person in my life, so making him happy makes me happy. I’m learning a lot from RPW and starting to implement some changes in my relationship by changing how I act, it seems to be going well, and we’re both very happy. Most importantly, I think I’m finally letting him be who he is, rather than who he’s been forced to be by a lifetime of shrew women and a previous bad relationship where he got no respect and his sexuality wasn’t allowed to thrive. I love the changes I’m seeing in myself too, I’m by no means a doormat and accomplish a lot myself but my personality tends towards being ‘caregiver’ and ‘supporter’. So taking care of people really makes me feel fulfilled. I love cooking and making a nice cosy home. I was already pretty femme, I love dresses, doing my nails and makeup, so I’m letting myself realise this is a good thing 🙂 Think that’s all for now ladies, I’ll probably make a new thread at some point for some more questions I have.

[–]valkyrieone[+1] 3 points 1 day ago (3|0)

Long time lurker but I haven’t come up with any real questions as of yet. I’m more of sitting in the back learning, observing, and absorbing a lot of this great information before I have anything constructive to add to the conversation. I have always had RPW tendencies but for now I am going to continue to sit back and take some more notes.

[–]menina_realista[+1] 3 points 1 day ago* (3|0)

Lurker here of several months. Last summer on my 20th birthday I finally realized my toxic, emotionally abusive LTR of 3 years was only going to waste my window to find a good life partner. (He convinced me that I was unattractive and that I wouldn’t find anyone better.) What the hell was I thinking staying so long? I decided then: no more using my heart before using my brain. I wanted an alpha, not an a-hole.

Now I’m dating someone I used to know… he was there the whole time but I didn’t see him. He’s amazing, he could get a way hotter girl, a more exciting girl, and has… but he chose me, tells me I’m beautiful, shows me off to friends and family and treats me like I’m valuable. It’s surreal. The reason I have a healthier heart and mind is because RPW showed me what to look for to find a real alpha and not fall for the insecure imposters.

This one downright made me all teary-eyed:

[–]veolia84 3 points 1 day ago (3|0)

Semi-lurker here. I feel like I’ve always had a rather RP mindset in terms of my behavior and relationships, but asides from my mother and long (LONG) distance half sisters, I couldn’t find any other women who held these beliefs. It’s rather isolating at times, considering the women in my social group still buy into post-modern, 3rd wave feminism.

I’ve always been plagued by an incessant existential emptiness, gnawing away and expressing itself as concurrent depression and anxiety. I was one of those women who had no “reason” to be depressed, yet I was choking down anti-depressants and bellyaching to a therapi$t every week. None of it made me happier, nor did it tamper my existential dread.

So when I discovered the red pill, accepted it, and started expressing my feminine characteristics (rather than suppressing them and having them come out as mean girl bitchiness cloaked as “activism”), its like that long standing existential dread just….vanished. Not to say I’m happy, since that is an ephemeral state, but I’m definitely content, blessed, and grateful. lol its funny cause I never in a million years thought I be one of those women who go on and on about how blessed they are. 😉

I no longer worry about everything, I no longer feel empty and sad for no reason, but sometimes I do feel angry. Angry that I wasted so much time+money feeling sorry for myself, and putting my liver at risk with those anti-Ds by doing what every young woman does when shes kinda upset; flounce off to a therapist (aka paying someone to agree with you and give you fancy sounding labels that you can brandish as a weapon, shield, or use as a get out of jail free card).

In any case, things have greatly improved in my life and my relationship with my husband once I accepted the red pill. One thing I’ve recently noticed is that I get..ahem, excited when my husband orders me around. Before the red pill I would have been angry, indignant, and turned on, but in the spirit of ideological purity I would suppress my sexual response, hold on to the anger/indignation, and throw myself a pity party with my lady friends. “god, can you believe what he asked of me?! how dare he! what does he think, I’m his slave?”

Now I just answer “yes sir”, do the task, and feel proud or horny when he simply thanks me for completing the task. 😀

The whole exchange gave me a little hope. I mean, it’s reddit, which is troll heaven, but occasionally we get through to someone. Lately I had been starting to feel like I was beating my head against the brick wall that is reddit, so this happened at a very good time!

Is My Music Emasculating My Husband?


Can music have an emasculating effect? My husband and I hang out a fair number of tiny neighborhood bars and we have noticed lately the different crowds. Recently we have been distancing ourselves from the Rockabilly bar and spending more time at the Biker bar. The Rockabilly bar used to be more punk and also used to be a lot more fun with people that were not quite as liberal.

Since it went more purely Rockabilly with a lot of Indie and country Blues, the crowd has gotten more and more androgynous and emasculated. About half of the males there are gay, but I’m not sure if that is the music or because of the proximity to a lot of salons. Almost all the women are sluts or would be if they could get laid any more. If you said Boo to any of the male bartenders, they would flinch.

The Biker bar plays a lot of music a lot harder like Motorhead, etc. I’m not really familiar with the names because I generally play pop. Like super pop. I’m hanging my head as I type this. Yes, I have lady Gaga and Britney Spears on my work computer. Yes, I have Taylor Swift. I also have a lot of Indie music and it is pretty poppy, too.

When I go to Ace’s site and Danny’s site, they have more masculine music, like the Biker bar plays. Also, a lot of the more PUA sites say to put on some hard music loud and get pumped up before working out or going out. They say it raises your testosterone (I don’t know which ones they were, and I’m not going to look for it).

If you think about Indie music and the people that listen to it, it is mainly hipsters. Another androgynous group of people full of girly boys wearing skinny jeans and masculine women proud of their sluttitude. The Rockabilly bar has a lot of hipsters, but the Biker bar doesn’t.

I have the newer car, so when we go anywhere, we take my car, and my music is playing. Pretty much every evening and all weekend (usually three day weekends), my husband is subjected to my pop music. During the daytime, he will switch it over to talk radio, but the rest of the time it is blaring Lily Allen or Feist.

I’ve just recently, in the last couple of days, started wondering how much music has an effect on our physical state. I’m kind of thinking that I should divide my music into male/female and play the more masculine music on the weekends. I’m not going to go all Death Metal or anything, but definitely harder music.

My final question, if you all do think that Pop, Indie & Rockabilly are emasculating, is do you think that listening to harder music will masculate me?

Photo Credit

Pyjama Party Ahoy!


I was talking to Mitch the other afternoon and he was laughing about the stink someone was trying to raise over at the MGTOWforums about the Vegas trip, so I went over to check it out. For some reason this Wombat fellow seems to think that my husband and Dr. Illusion are going to be locked in their rooms for the entire trip:

So. A big manosphere meetup. Everyone is going to be packed into a couple of rooms – awesome! A real pyjama party, talking shit, scotch, strippers … but wait!

There’s more than enough room for all of us for this meetup but there a few rules. Doctor Illusion and the Mistress have their own room. TempestTcup and her hubby have their own room. As for the rest of us, we’ll just have to figure that out when we get there.


a) No hanging out with the guys for these two unfortunates. What’s that? You see your wife every goddamn day of the week as it is? You want to spend tie with some new people? Well you’re married now, the answer is no. Suck it up!

b) Cupcakes get their own rooms. The guys just have to manage as best they can. So alpha!

Yeah. That’s the manosphere all over.

So now I’m a cupcake? Damn straight! I’m soft, sweet and tasty!

I never heard anything about strippers, but I’m assuming that there will be strip clubs involved. I’ve been to a couple; not exactly my bag, but whatever. I don’t offend easily. Then The Disgruntled Gentleman chimes in:

Let me get this straight…

The first thing that must be done before a ‘manosphere’ meetup is ensure the women are looked after…?

Words fail…

But wait; that’s not all! Zed comes up with a zinger:

I think the ‘manosphere’ is a misnomer. I think it should be the ‘mangina-osphere’.

The whole thing is hilarious, but I really only have one beef (and really, there were only seven comments, so even they couldn’t get more than a “meh” out of the (faux) outrage) is that they don’t think that men will protect their women.

Not that we will need protection with the people that we are going to see, but my husband is always watching out for my well being. I live in my husband’s protection bubble. Plus, have you seen the sheer amount of beauty supplies women tote around? I need my own bathroom just to hold all of that.

If we hadn’t gotten a room in the suite, my husband would have insisted on getting a room of our own. That’s what husbands do. I take care of his needs, which consist of keeping his stomach full, his balls empty, providing a harmonious home life, looking slim and pretty, and he provides protection and support. Duh.

The Manosphere Is Lost: Explained

Rooshosphere by TempestTcup

I was having trouble keeping up with Roosh’s sphere position, so I made a handy chart for those who are visual learners. I guess everyone outside of the Rooshosphere are just plain old Manosphere or are Red Pill. Of course Ace predicted the splintering of the sphere into fiefdoms. Let me know if I have anything out of place & I’ll fix it!