Tag Archives: respect

Conversational Sluts & Gut Flora

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Sunshinemary had an interesting post a few weeks ago about the human microbiome and how trading it during sex affects us:

When a woman comes together with her husband, she’s receiving more than just semen. She’s also being “seeded” by receiving a big dose of his microbiome inside her, a microbiome which literally affects who she is and how she thinks and feels. In a very real sense, we become part of the men we have sexual relations with.

She goes on further on the subject:

I am only wondering aloud here, but does it not seem that it would be stressful to a woman’s body and mind to receive the microbiomes of numerous men? Wouldn’t her body be able to adapt and function better if she only received that from one man? And doesn’t it make sense that she would bond deeply with that one man, given that part of him is now physically a part of her, affecting the very way she perceives the world?

This has been fermenting (hah!) in the back of my mind for the past week or so & then I realized why I hung onto it. My husband & I are bar gut-flora sluts. When we go to a bar, we will sit next to anyone & talk to them & just by the act of conversation, we share gut flora with them.

I have been working hard on colonizing my body with beneficial bacteria & I always thought of talking to people as me sharing my hard work (good gut flora) with them & increasing their health, but I never thought of them sharing their bad flora with me. And I certainly never thought that sharing a lot of strangers’ flora might be messing me up internally.

Just a few generations ago, there were close extended families that everyone spent a lot of time with & they would share their gut flora. People may not have had a lot of contact with complete strangers. When I was a kid being raised in the Catholic tradition, we lived in our Parish, went to school in the Parish school, went to Mass in the Church next to the school, played with all of the other neighborhood Parish kids after school & Mass. I bet if we had all been tested, they would have found that the Parish had a specific gut flora.

Which brings me to the subject of going to a wide variety of small bars & conversing with a lot of different people, a lot of which are complete strangers. I never thought of this as damaging my health. I never considered that this might be seeding me with detrimental microbiome. And the stupid thing about it is that most of these people are downright tedious, anyway. So it is damaging to my body & mind.

My husband & I were talking last night about how annoying a lot of the people are that we see on a regular basis & Sunshinemary’s post came to mind. I told him about it & suddenly it all made sense – we need to only converse with the people we like & respect. Only share gut flora or microbiomes with people in which we want to invest. We need to quit being conversational sluts.

Caution vs. Risk

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Men & women are very different & a major difference is seen in the way they handle risk. Women urge caution yet men need to risk. This is just another genetic trait that harkens back to the days of men hunting big game & women staying home with babies. The man who took the most risks usually got the most or best women.

This is also why it is bad for a single woman to raise sons; she is always urging caution & this may make her son fearful, which is setting him up for a dismal future of cubicle-dwelling celibacy. One reason a woman decides to have babies outside of a relationship is because in her mid-thirties she realized she was going to die alone & creating a human herself is the best way to avoid that fate. Of course she urges caution – if her kid dies, she will still die alone. So no climbing trees, no skateboarding, no doing any of the things boys need to do. Then again, a lot of times it backfires & makes the boy take more risks, so there’s that.

This is why women tell boys to “just be yourself”. It is safer than taking risks. Risk is going out on a limb & getting a better job. Risk is having fun doing dangerous things like flying airplanes, climbing mountains & diving for sunken treasure. Risk is opening your own business. Risk is how you obtain confidence, wealth & power: all the things that attract women.

Risk in men instills fear in a woman, which is a powerful but positive form of dread. Dread and fear create tingles, & tingles lead to sex. I’m not saying to go out & risk bodily harm for some random woman in hopes of getting laid, because that is the worst form of white knighting, but if your normal course of action is risk-taking, you will be attractive to women.

Don’t risk just to attract women, though; do it for yourself because that’s what makes you a man. Do it because it is fun & because it makes you money, or whatever reason you might have. Attracting women is only a byproduct of you being a man.

 

Love vs. Respect

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I was reading Francis Begbie’s latest insightful post & a small snippet of it stuck in my mind:

[…] the more I interact with women, the more I love them and less I respect them.

I’m not sure that women need respect. They do need love, and may think they want respect, but I think the more a man respects a woman, the less she will want him. Respect is something a woman is told that she should want, not something she actually desires, whereas she truly yearns for love, but is told that she DESERVES respect.

It is telling that Otis Redding wrote the song “Respect” begging a female for a little respect when he gets home. I’ll give you everything I have, but please, please give me a little respect. Aretha Franklin changed the song to a tone demanding respect. GIVE IT TO ME NOW! Both approaches are completely wrong.

Men seem to have an infinite capability to love a woman through strife and shit-testing, and I think their ability to love is their greatest strength (and weakness sometimes) in a relationship. It’s almost like males fall in love hard, fast & forever, whereas women fall in lust daily depending on the situation and the man.

Women need love & men need respect. Sure, men want love, but I think the need for respect is much more important to them. Women need to have respect for her man; the more respect they have for a man, the more tingles they get. The more tingles, the more lust.

Tl;dr: The more respect a woman has for a man, the more she will lust him. The more respect a man has for a woman, the less she will tingle & lust. Sad but true.

[wow, this is really choppy & hard to read. I’ve had too many deadlines lately & too many numbers in my head, lol. And I have another deadline today & lots more numbers to stuff into me braiin!]