Tag Archives: valentine’s day

GIRLcott Valentine’s Day

vday-heart-

I’m racking my brain to try & remember if I’ve ever celebrated Valentine’s Day. I think I did probably & I’m sure I did when I was young, impressionable & a serial monogamist. With my husband (I’m NOT going to start calling him Mr. Tcup! Okay, I might ‘cuz that’s ADORABLE!!!!) I think I celebrated it once maybe.

Thing is, why do you want to go try to make some reservation at a fancy restaurant & dress up & crowd into a packed place? Why don’t you just go eat a nice meal the day before or after if all you want is a tasty date/meal? Why does it have to be the 14th? Why does everything have to be so PINK?

If you want to buy your beloved a present, why don’t you just go out and do so & give it to him? Why do you have to wait for the 14th? Why do you need flowers delivered to your office? Flowers are a massive money sink on the 14th. If you want to buy flowers, grocery stores have pretty ones & you can buy them some day other than the 14th.

If a girl needs flowers delivered on the 14th to feel good about her relationship, she has bigger problems than her relationship. I don’t need flowers from Mr Tcup (teehee!) because all he has to do is walk through the office every once in a while & all the girls swoon. Not because he’s a whipped Mangina dutifully obeying the VD tradition, but because he oozes masculinity. Swoon.

And, any guys reading this, DO NOT buy her one of those Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman necklaces with the patented Tits & Ass pendant. Because those things look stupid as all hell once you realize they are just a stylized drawing of Boobs & Butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Tl;dr: Ignore the Valentine’s Day Industrial Complex & do something sweet for your sweetie TODAY! Or just fuck him/her rotten, whichever.